The Bible warns us about the dangers of an angry man. Proverbs 22:24 says,“Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man.”In addition, Proverbs 29:22 says,“An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.”
It took me years to discover that it is not God’s will for me (or you) to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Those critical words filled with sarcasm and disdain will destroy your confidence and crush your self-esteem. We are called to be submissive in our marriages (Ephesians 5:22) but that does not mean that we are to allow ourselves to be verbally beaten by our spouse. 1 Peter 3:1 does teach that wives, by being submissive to their husbands, may win them to Christ by their behavior. However, it does not teach us that we must allow ourselves to be verbally or physically abused.
There are key factors that should be recognized when dealing with this kind of certain situation. First and foremost, you have to know that God loves you more than anyone ever will and more than you will ever comprehend. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
Second, it is crucial that you deal with your feelings of guilt. Many feel that the problems in their marriage were their fault. We often think, “If only I would do better, he wouldn’t be so angry with me.” The Bible teaches in Psalm 51:6 that “Surely You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”Though you may experience feelings of guilt, it does not mean you are the guilty party.
I then had to deal with the feelings of shame. For a long time I felt as if something was wrong with me. I thought that I was a horrible wife and a bad person. Scripture tells me that that kind of thinking is a lie. Psalms 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Finally, you have to realize that you can be free. You no longer have to be a victim of abuse. Christ sets us free when we accept Him by faith. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
This is only the beginning. There is so much more to come….