Obstacles and old signs: Freedom from a failed system

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32

God is setting me free from my
past. He is breaking the chains of
the obstacles that I once found as my security.  Obstacles standing in the way of God being my Father. I am on a new road still surrounded by old signs. God is making it clear those old signs are nothing more than myths to prop up a failed system.

I used to believe that suffering was a sign of God’s disappointment in my life.  I’m learning that suffering often indicates something different. It is a new work being done so that I am free to experience Him more deeply and follow Him faithfully.

Walking by faith and following Him is not easy. It means going against the grain which means my circumstances will not just fall into place and line up to the journey I am taking. There is resistance at every turn.  So God must teach me how to walk with Him.

Only through His teaching and my brokenness along with total surrender am I able to experience His great joy and peace.

God will always provide the right direction. He knows me better than anyone else and knows my needs better than anyone else. He provides better than anyone else. 

He is bringing me into a life aligned with Him. Instead of rescuing me from the things I’m having to endure, He chooses to use every trial and circumstance to show me what true faith, true freedom and life really are when I live a life surrendered.

God is leading me on an incredible journey. It is more amazing  than anything I can imagine. By following Him in obedience, His work in my life will not only astound and amaze but bring glory to His name.

Weak moments: The one who “drives me mad”

“Lord, I heard Your voice today. You said something I’d rather not hear. I prayed about that person, You know, the one that drives me mad. I reminded You how often I’ve been hurt, annoyed, irritated and upset. And You said, ‘Love one another as I have loved you.’”

Pam Weaver

I did it again. I got scared, acted in fear and responded in my way instead of by faith. I prefer the moments when I recognize what is happening instead of those I recognize after the fact.

 

What an incredible peace grace brings into our lives. I recognize my lack of faith but am fully aware that God is in control. He is not surprised by my weak moments and once again has had to say “let Me do my job precious daughter. I’ve got this.”

 

I’ve spent the morning praying for the “one” who “drives me mad.” I’ve prayed that God put a love in my heart for this person and that I begin to see them the way He sees them. It’s incredibly hard but I know  Jesus was nailed to the cross for this person just as He was for me.

 

Forgive my evil thoughts and show me how to love like You have loved me.  Allow my heart to break when I fall short of Your plans and when I allow bitterness toward another one of Your children to creep into my thoughts and heart.

 

Get rid of all bitterness, passion and anger… Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. Since you are God’s dear children, you must try to be like Him.

Ephesians 4:31-32

Evil and goodness: The cry for revenge

Feelings.  We women have a plethora of feelings.  Our feelings can drive us in all sorts of crazy directions.  Sometimes when we are dealing with hurt, it is incredibly hard to rein those feelings in and look for truth at the heart of a situation.

Every second of every day, evil is at work.  Not a minute passes by that evil is not attempting to trip us up or get us tangled in the mess that feelings can bring.  When we are hurting, human nature cries for revenge.  We want payback.  We want to see someone get what is coming to them.  Those feelings can drive us to do evil things.  That is where truth steps in and we let go of feelings.

Romans 12:21 says that we are “not to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good.”  Not particularly the thing in which we want to do when we are hurting.  It is much easier to lash out. It feels good to get those feelings out.  In that moment anyway.  Later when conviction sets in, we realize what we have said or done to hurt another and begin feeling worse. Suddenly our troubles have grown.  We have created quite the mess.

There is a reason why we are told to overcome evil with good.  There is a reason why we are told in Ephesians to be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (4:32)  When we walk a life professing to follow Jesus, we are to promote peace, kindness, love and forgiveness.  When someone has wronged us, we are  to turn the other cheek.  We are to follow the example set for us by Jesus.  If we want forgiveness from God then we must offer forgiveness to others. Personally, it frustrates me.  It is hard when my family is constantly being hurt. Truthfully, I am tired of being bullied.  I am tired of people who use their power to abuse others.  However, I follow an awesome God.  He sent His Son to give up His life for me and so I choose to be a reflection of His Son.  I choose to forgive and do good. I choose to overcome evil with good and God blesses when we choose good.  

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.

Galatians 6:9-10

A man, a fish and a second chance: What happens when we run?

Do you believe in second chances?  What about the Creator of Universe giving second chances? Arguments go both ways but for me, I am a die hard believer in the fact that God does give second chances.  In fact, I am living breathing proof that He is the giver of second chances.

Whether you grew up in church you are probably familiar with the story about a man named Jonah and his encounter with a large fish.  You may not know the details but you’re familiar with the points.  Let me give you a quick synopsis.  

• Jonah was a prophet chosen by God to speak on His behalf
• Jonah was told by God to travel to Nineveh and deliver a message that He would destroy the city.  Nineveh was a wicked place and the fiercest enemy of Jonah’s people.
• Jonah boards a ship and “runs” in the opposite direction towards Tarshish.  A city as far to the west as any Israelite had ever traveled.
• The ship encounters a horrible storm in which the lives of the sailors on the ship are threatened.  The sailors ask Jonah to call out to his God and ask for favor.
• Jonah admits to the sailors that the storm is his fault as he is running away from God  and volunteers to be thrown overboard in order to save them.
• The sailors are terrified to throw one of God’s people overboard and attempt to row back to shore but fail.  They finally throw Jonah off the ship.
• Jonah does not die but instead is swallowed by a large fish and stays there for three days and three nights.  
• While in the belly of the fish, Jonah cries out to God and thanks Him for saving him from  being swallowed up by the sea.  Jonah has a change of heart and chooses to obey God’s command to go to Nineveh. The fish “spits” Jonah out right back where he started.
• God comes to Jonah a second time.  Back to the place he first started and God gives Jonah the exact same message: Go to Nineveh and give them my message.
• Having learned his lesson the hard way, Jonah travels to Nineveh.

Wow.  Quite the story.  Hard to accept? A man being swallowed by a fish?  Maybe.  But I consider it to be true.  I also believe it to be a beautiful story of second chances.  An amazing story of God’s grace and redemption.  

How often do we hear God’s voice and walk in the opposite direction due to fear or pride?  I know I have on more than one occasion.  I have allowed fear to take the reins and lead me down into the belly of the fish. A place where I felt all hope was lost until I cried out to God to save me.  And He has.

It is easy to get lost in this crazy world.  There are so many wrong turns we can take, each leading us down a winding path of chaos and destruction but there is also a pathway leading out.  Residence in the belly of a fish does not have to last forever.

Nineteen years ago I was married for the first time.  I made a choice for myself.  I thought it was the right choice.  I thought I was doing the right thing.  Do you see the “I” in each of those statements? The “I” was my downfall.  For as much as I wanted to be doing the right thing, I was  far from it.  At twenty, I had been living in the belly of the fish for many years.  Unlike Jonah, I was unaware because my relationship with Jesus was distant.  I knew Him and “followed” Him the way in which I understood, but it was not with the entirety of my life.  I lacked the understanding of giving Him complete control and surrendering everything to Him.  Choices and all.  At the time, my understanding of God’s will was lacking.  

When I got married, I married believing it was forever.  Divorce was not an option and did not exist in my vocabulary.  Even knowing I was not where God wanted me, I recognized I had to endure the consequences of my choice. And so I forged ahead and accepted the path I had chosen.

One of the greatest discoveries for me in my thirty nine years of existence is this: When we are a follower of Jesus yet choose to go our own way without Him, we will fail.  No matter how hard we try, how much work we put into the fight, if we go at it alone, we will not succeed.  God cannot fix what is broken if we will not release it to Him.  

We also cannot force someone else to “be fixed” or to choose Jesus.  It is unfortunate and sad when Jesus is not in the picture because all hell breaks loose. Things falls apart and when you are left hanging by a thread, sometimes you have to let go and trust.

That was me.  Sitting in the belly of the fish crying out to God asking for clarity and direction.  I wanted to be rescued.  I desired to be right where He wanted me.

What a revelation when you realize that God allows things to happen in order for you to find Him.  He shakes us up to expose what is truly in our heart. He allows us to make our own choices.  We are not His puppets.  We choose whether to go left or right completely on our own.  If we choose wrong, we face the music.  We fight through the consequences.  We get swallowed up by the fish and God waits.  

Then through our tears and repentance, He rescues.  He picks us up and sets our feet right back where we were before we took that wrong turn and says, “Let’s do this again. But this time, let’s do it My way.”

Think of Jonah. He ran in the opposite direction.  God chose him to deliver this great message that would save a people group and he ran. His disobedience led to consequences that involved spending three dreadful days in the smelly darkness of a fish. However it led to a heart that softened to God’s purpose for his life.  For Jonah, the fish was the provision that saved his life and led to a complete redo.  Back to square one. The opportunity to say yes a second time.  WOW!  A second attempt to be used by the Creator of the Universe.  To be a part of His story.  

For me, my redo became me saying “I do” a second time.  The opportunity to find love and to experience marriage the way in which He designed.  To love like I have never known.  To be loved in a way that I cannot put into words.  To walk each day with my best friend as we share God’s love with those in our life.  He has given me a purpose and message to share His love and grace while offering hope to those who have none.  To continue telling His story of second chances.

Second chances are real.  God DOES give second chances when we choose to trust His hand and His leading.  He does not give up on us when we’re ready to give on ourselves.  He extends His grace and pours Himself into us making us usable.  Our mess can become His message if we say yes!

  

 

Six years later

Align with Him.  Six years ago I sat in front of my computer and stared at the screen.  I needed a name.  An address for a blog.  I had no clue.  What was a blog anyway?  What was the purpose?  

Six years later I realize God knew what He was doing when I typed out those three words. He could not have given me a better web address.  As I write I am in awe of His sovereignty.  He knew where my life was headed and where I would be years later.  He knew the relevance of align with him.

I am often stunned at the way in which God uses our lives.  The way in which He has used mine.Too many times my life has been out of sync with His will for my life.  Out of alignment. Yet here I am.  For some reason, He has chosen to allow me to partner with Him to share my part of His story.  

I have learned to handle my responsibility with great care.  I would be stupid not to be wise.  The God of the universe is allowing me to share His love, His story with others.  He wants to use me.  How could I choose recklessness with that  kind of responsibility?

He has a plan for all of His children.  Patiently He waits for us to say yes.  Waits for us to choose His way and not our own.  We all have a story worth telling.  What’s your story?

Broken hearts, puffy eyes and lots of tears: Need to be rescued?

 I am writing this while my heart is heavy.  It’s hurting.  I do not normally write when I feel this way but today is different.  

I typically spend my days attempting to find ways to encourage others through things I write. I try my best to be positive and thankful always looking for the good in things.  But days come when even I have a hard time finding the “happy” moments. Today I’m writing from a real place. Today I hurt.

I feel rejected and unloved.  Left out and tossed aside. Unimportant to those around me. Hurting is tiring but keeping it all inside is exhausting.

God already knows my heart.  He knows how I’m feeling.  He knows the origin of the hurt.  The tears I’ve cried.  He’s recorded every one and so there is no need to pretend with Him.

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each on in your book.

Psalm 56:8

Today I’m allowing Him the room to comfort and console. Allowing Him to touch those sensitive places in my heart that I try to hide from everyone else.  I often try to conceal the wounds that cut deep and leave me vulnerable but today I am going to release them.

Today I am resting in His promises.  Today I am trusting in His unfailing love for me.  Though others may find me less important or expendable, He cherishes me.  He loves me.  He in fact sings over me.

For the Lord your God is living among you.  He is a mighty Savior.

He will take delight in your with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Zephaniah 3:17

Not every day can be filled with butterflies and roses.  Some days involve tears and puffy eyes.  Some days I have to remove the mask and trust that God is present and working through the hurt in my life.  Some days I need to let the tears fall. Some days I am brokenhearted.

No matter your hurt.  No matter the pain you feel, God loves you. His love quiets and comforts. He is close to those whose hearts are broken.  Don’t be afraid to cry out in your loneliness or pain. He is closer than you know and listening, ready with open arms to rescue your broken heart.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;

He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18

 

Originally posted on todayforalways.blogspot.com

Boundaries: Safety from toxic sludge

The importance of extending boundaries in life.  Drawing the line.  Separating from those that bring toxicity into relationships. This process can be incredibly difficult, particularly if one might be the proverbial “people pleaser.”

I used to believe those in my life, had a “right” to be part of the “inner circle” of my life.  Through recent years, I have learned that not to be true.  No one holds the “right” to a place in your life.  

Throughout the past few years I’ve come to realize a lot about toxic relationships.  I was unaware of the instability and unhealthiness of many of my relationships until the floor fell from beneath my feet.

I have spent time examining relationships and I have accepted that healthy boundaries are necessary in order to protect myself and those I love from harm.

Before examining the relationships in your life, remember that there is a difference between toxic relationships and those which are challenging.  

So what might a toxic relationship look like? Here are a few characteristics which can help to “weed out” those unhealthy relationships.

1. Always giving advice:  The need to fix everything and everyone.  The one who is critical and sees everything and everyone as broken. The one who can do it better and has all the answers. Now advice giving is not wrong.  Everyone needs advice at times but there are those who talk and talk but never listen.  They are quick to speak and ready to pounce the minute you finish your sentence. So if someone never waits to be asked but is ready to give, and lacks any sort of humility or respect in their approach, take heed.

2. Over the top:  From the instant they first appear on the scene, everything is wonderful.  You are wonderful.  You are the only person who “gets it” in their life.  Everything you say is “spot on.”  BIG FAT RED FLAG.  They are trying way too hard, so the question becomes; why?  I know I am not that great and everything I say is NOT spot on so why the big production?  Tread carefully.

3. Center of attention:  Not typically hard to recognize.  It’s more than just being the one to talk the most or loudest in a group.  Perhaps it is the person who instantly cites their resume to you upon first meeting.  For me I’ve found when serving with someone, if our first meeting includes a list of their qualifications, I might be in trouble.  There needs to be humility.  Allow others to discover your “good works.”  

4. No room for grace:  This one is huge for me.  They are quick to point out the failures in others yet can somehow magically miss the huge plank in their own eye.  They shun or judge others they do not truly know.  They cause disunity among community and family.  

5. Those who “fake it”:  I have become acutely aware of those who will smile and hug me like they love me and the second I leave the room, talk about me.  I can spot a fake smile and hug and when I come across them,  boundaries are placed. I also look out for those who say one thing about their life to me but, when in the presence of people they feel are important, talk a totally different game.  And I never forget the old saying, “those who gossip to you, gossip about you.”

6.Manipulators:  Those who spend their time attempting to change the perception or behaviour in others by using deception or underhanded ways. Among the various methods used, for me personally, I have fallen for “the lying or guilting me into doing what they want me to do” method.  

Now on their own, one of these may do not necessarily signal a toxic person or relationship. However mix several together and you are probably on target. Learn the signals and be prepared to set proper boundaries where you have the ability to observe from a distance.  It usually does not take long for true character to reveal itself.  In the end, you may see things in a different light. Until then, guard your heart and mind while keeping your eyes wide open.

Any place where you find jealousy and selfish ambition, you will discover chaos and evil thriving under its rule. Heavenly wisdom centers on purity, peace, gentleness, deference, mercy and other good fruits untainted by hypocrisy. The seed that flowers into righteousness will always be planted in peace by those who embrace peace.

James 3:16-18

Toxic Sludge and healthy boundaries: Is there a need?

I’ve been pondering extending boundaries in my life.  Drawing the line.  Separating myself from those I find toxic.  This is an incredibly hard thing for me because I can be a people pleaser.

 

I used to be believe those in my life, had a “right” to be on the “inside” of my life.  Through recent years, I have learned that not to be true.  No one has the “right” to your life.  

 

Throughout the past few years I learned a lot about toxic relationships.  I never realized how many of my relationships were toxic until the floor fell from beneath my feet.  I was totally unaware of the shallowness of the relationships I found myself in and in the end, shocked by it.

 

I spent time examining the people and relationships around me.  I have slowly distanced myself with many and am beginning to place more healthy boundaries around myself  to keep out those who cause harm.

 

Now let me say a difference exists between toxic relationships and those simply challenging us.  I’m not speaking of those challenging relationships in this post.  Totally different topic.

 

So what might a toxic relationship look like? This is my list.  What I’ve put together over the course of the last few years in an attempt to “weed out” those healthy for my family.

 

1. Always giving advice:  The need to fix everything and everyone.  The one who is critical and sees everything and everyone as broken. The one who can do it better and has all the answers.  Now advice giving is not wrong.  Everyone needs advice at times but there are those who talk and talk but never listen.  They are quick to speak and ready to pounce the minute you finish your sentence. So if someone never waits to be asked but is ready to give, and lacks any sort of humility or respect in their approach, they might be toxic.
2. Over the top:  From the instant they first appear on the scene, everything is wonderful.  You are wonderful.  You are the only person who “gets it” in their life.  Everything you say is “spot on.”  BIG FAT RED FLAGS in my book.  They are trying way too hard.  My question becomes why?  I know I am not that great and everything I say is NOT spot on so why the big production.  Tread carefully.
3. Center of attention:  This one is not typically hard to recognize.  It can more than just being the one to talk the most or loudest in a group.  It can also include the person who instantly cites their resume to you on first meeting.  For me I’ve found when serving with someone, if our first meeting includes a list of their qualifications, I’m running.  There needs to be humility.  Allow others to discover your “good works.”  Nowadays social media has also become a great tool for spotting this type as well.
4. No room for grace:  This one is huge for me.  They are quick to point out the failures in others yet can somehow magically miss the huge plank in their own eye.  They shun or judge others they do not truly know.  They cause disunity among community and family.
5. Those who “fake it”:  I have become acutely aware of those who will smile and hug me like they love me and the second I leave the room, talk about me.  I can spot a fake smile and hug and when I come across them,  boundaries are placed. I also look out for those who say one thing about their life to me but when in the presence of people they feel are important, talk a totally different game.  And I never forget the old saying, “those who gossip to you, gossip about you.”
6. Manipulators:  A no brainer but sadly I missed it for years.  It is those who spend their time attempting to change the perception or behaviour in others by using deception or underhanded ways.   Among the various methods used,  I have fallen for the lying or guilting me into doing what they want me to do method.

Now for me, these on their own do not signal a toxic person.  However mix several together and you are probably on target.  I have learned to set my boundaries and observe from a distance.  It usually does not take long for true character to reveal itself.  In the end, you may see things in a different light.  Until then, guard your heart and mind while keeping your eyes wide open.

 

Any place where you find jealousy and selfish ambition, you will discover chaos and evil thriving under its rule. Heavenly wisdom centers on purity, peace, gentleness, deference, mercy and other good fruits untainted by hypocrisy. The seed that flowers into righteousness will always be planted in peace by those who embrace peace.

James 3:16-18

Originally posted on todayforalways.blogspot.com

Peace through the storm

Be at peace and rest today because all is well. Jesus is still seated on the throne and will work everything out for your good and His glory.  No matter how rocky the road or stormy the weather, God has it under control. In His time and for His glory He causes all things to work for good if you just choose to trust His hand.  

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Romans 8:28

Take time to pray Psalm 139:23-24 in your own words.

God you know my heart.  Search me.  Test me. You know every anxious thought I have.  Reveal to me those things in my life that offend you and keep me from walking the path You have for me.  

Miracles: Why do I doubt?

Sometimes I am a skeptic, others times not so much.  I have faith in a God I cannot see with my eyes yet I am confident He exists.  I trust that Jesus was born of a virgin, walked on water and was raised to life again all without ever witnessing it with my own eyes. I believe these things with all my heart. However I struggle with the idea of miracles existing.  What does that say about my faith?  I’m not sure.  I’m truly asking.

Here’s a story.  Last week we were down to our last dollar.  It was a Wednesday afternoon and my husband looked at me and said, “We need gas and are down to nothing.  We need a miracle.  Seriously we need to pray for a miracle.”  I simply responded with “miracles don’t happen.”  The words flowed too easily from my lips and left me dumbfounded.  What happened to my faith?

Over the course of the past year I have been frustrated more times than not with a great number of things.  One is the way in which a man will work incredibly hard to provide for his children (as well as children who are not his own) yet is punished.  The other being those men who do not provide for their children and get away with it.  It has left me doubting and broken hearted one too  many times watching my children go without.  Now God has never failed us. He has always provided in one way or another but it has always been at the expense of those who should not be having to carry the burden.  Praying, asking and waiting for God to answer my specific prayer with what I think is the “right” answer left me doubting the existence of miracles.

So back to my story.  My husband asks his doubting wife to pray for a miracle.  I am not going to lie.  I did not pray, at first.  As I continued throughout my afternoon I felt an uneasiness in my spirit.  I have seen God do a great many things throughout the last few years of my life.  I have seen His will unfold while trusting His hand as He has worked in my life.  However the times in which I specifically prayed for “a miracle,” it didn’t happen.  I wrestled with the notion.  Should I pray for a miracle?  Was it worth taking a minute to specifically ask God for gas money?  Did He really care that we did not have money to put gas in our cars?  Oh the struggle as I argued back and forth with myself.  I just didn’t want another unanswered prayer (or what I felt like was an unanswered prayer). After spending time thinking it all over I caved and said a prayer.  I asked God to provide what He knew we needed and I waited.

That evening we loaded the children into the cars and headed to our weekly church group for a pool party.  I had to leave the party early to get my younger kids in bed on time for school the next day.  As I drove home the gas light came on and the bell chimed.  Tears flooded my eyes.  The frustration overwhelmed me.  It was swallowing me whole.  Enough was enough.

The hours passed and I finally heard the front door open as the rest of the crew arrived back home.  I was sitting on my bed as my husband walked into the room.  He looked at me and said, “remember how I asked you to pray for a miracle?”  I didn’t respond.  He began to read a note as he showed me a gift card.  It was a gift card for gas and a note that said where it could be used.  I just sat there.  Egg on my face.  God showing off 😉  Me left feeling foolish.

God knows what we need when we need it.  He knew my frustrations.  He knew my doubts.  He knows my heart.  He wasn’t trying to make me feel foolish. He was waiting for the right moment, the moment when I was feeling the most desperate and lacking faith in Him to show me He still moves stones.

I know to some this story may not seem like a “miracle.”  To some it may sound like coincidence but to me, it was a much needed blessing.  Not just a financial need kind of blessing but a ‘I am here and I am real and working in your life’ kind of blessing.  God knows when we need those moments.  He knows we sometimes need a reminder of His presence in our life.  He is the God who provides.  He is our Jehovah Jireh.

.

We don’t know who the gift was from but we are thankful for a much needed answer to prayer.

Here is the bottom line: do not worry about your life.  Don’t worry about what you will eat or what you will drink. Don’t worry about how you clothe your body.  Living is about more than merely eating, and the body is about more than dressing up.  Look at the birds in the sky.  They do not store food for winter.  They don’t plant gardens.  They do not sow or reap – and yet, they are always fed because your heavenly Father feeds them.  And you are even more precious to Him than a beautiful bird,  If He looks after them, of course He will look after you.  Worrying does not do any good; who here can claim to add even an hour to his life by worrying?

Matthew 6:25-27

Originally posted on All Things New