A ridge, the flag and making America great again…

Photo from Hacksawridge.movie/ 2016

Last night we got together with some friends and watched Hacksaw Ridge.  Have you seen it?  You should.  In this day and age, where we are seeing division, hatred and selfishness flood our social media feed, we need to be reminded of selflessness by stories like this one.  Stories where people are willing to place their very lives on the line for others. 

We live in a time where entitlement clouds our view of the big picture.  We think we are owed something.  We believe that we deserve so much more than what we have been given.  We can really be selfish. 

Do you realize there is nothing about any of us that deserves the right to open our eyes each morning?  Not a one of us offers such great contribution to this world that deems us worthy to be here.  None of us.  Each morning that we are allowed another breath is a gift.  It means we have a purpose.  It means there is something left for us to do.  Something good.  But we are too blind, too self-centered to see it.

For me, I see it (and this is clearly one of a thousand examples) when I think of the behavior of those celebrity sports figures who refuse to stand for the National Anthem. It is in those moments that I am quickly reminded of the “lostness” of this world.  Yes, men have fought for their freedom to choose whether to stand for that flag but while they make their millions and play their games, men have given their lives.  They have sacrificed EVERYTHING so that these men can put on their little outfits and chase a ball. 

It hurts my heart so much to see the selfishness that exists today.  To know that my kids are growing up in a day and age where people celebrate this kind of behavior.  Behavior that lacks integrity and respect.  Behavior that shines light on entitlement instead of sacrifice. There are days when I wish that each of those who choose this behavior would have to stand on the front lines of a war.  To look the enemy in the eye where men who believe so much in the freedoms of this country and the protection of its people are willing to give their lives for it.

We have watched our country crumble over the last decade. And sadly, it will continue to do so until people choose what is right.  To choose what is good.  To choose to be a people who put those around them first.  To love those around them.  To serve and care for others, FIRST.  Until that happens, we will continue to watch this country suffer from things such as discrimination, hatred, racial division, poverty, and the list goes on.  America can be great again but it won’t come at the hands of a man sitting in a white house.  It has to be a choice that every individual will make to put their selfishness aside, and to love their neighbor as themselves.

“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.”

 2 Chronicles 7:14

http://www.hacksawridge.movie/

A flag, a ridge and making America great again…

Photo from Hacksawridge.movie/ 2016

Last night we got together with some friends and watched Hacksaw Ridge.  Have you seen it?  You should.  In this day and age, where we are seeing division, hatred and selfishness flood our social media feed, we need to be reminded of selflessness by stories like this one.  Stories where people are willing to place their very lives on the line for others.

We live in a time where entitlement clouds our view of the big picture.  We think we are owed something.  We believe that we deserve so much more than what we have been given.  We can really be a disgusting people. 

Do you realize there is nothing about any of us that deserves the right to open our eyes each morning?  Not a one of us offers such great contribution to this world that deems us worthy to be here.  None of us.  Each morning that we are allowed another breath is a gift.  It means we have a purpose.  It means there is something left for us to do.  Something good.  But we are too blind, too self-centered to see it.

For me, I see it (and this is clearly one of a thousand examples) when I think of the behavior of those celebrity sports figures who refuse to stand for the National Anthem. It is in those moments that I am quickly reminded of the “lostness” of this world.  Yes, men have fought for their freedom to choose whether to stand for that flag but while they make their millions and play their games, men have given their lives.  They have sacrificed EVERYTHING so that these men can put on their little outfits and chase a ball.

It hurts my heart so much to see the selfishness that exists today.  To know that my kids are growing up in a day and age where people celebrate this kind of behavior.  Behavior that lacks integrity and respect.  Behavior that shines light on entitlement instead of sacrifice. There are days when I wish that each of those who choose this behavior would have to stand on the front lines of a war.  To look the enemy in the eye where men who believe so much in the freedoms of this country and the protection of its people are willing to give their lives for it.

We have watched our country crumble over the last decade. And sadly, it will continue to do so until people choose what is right.  To choose what is good.  To choose to be a people who put those around them first.  To love those around them.  To serve and care for others, FIRST.  Until that happens, we will continue to watch this country suffer from things such as discrimination, hatred, racial division, poverty, and the list goes on.  America can be great again but it won’t come at the hands of a man sitting in a white house.  It has to be a choice that every individual will make to put their selfishness aside, and to love their neighbor as themselves.

“Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.”

2 Chronicles 7:14

A Hiatus, a struggle and the unending depths of His love

I have to share!  I simply cannot contain it any longer! It has left me feeling like I might explode if I don’t share the greatness and goodness of the things happening in my life right now.  Here goes…we begin with a bit of a back story 😉

There has been much happening in our home over the course of the last nine months.  A lot of spiritual warfare coming at us from many different angles.  I have witnessed my children processing through their battles, while I have been fighting my own.

Mine began nine months ago. Many might not know, but Matthew, my husband, was in an accident last May in which he suffered a concussion.  For the last nine months we have been dealing with the ongoing effects caused by the trauma he endured that day.  It has been messy, scary, heartbreaking and devastating, all to say the least.  There were days that I did not know if I could endure another day of what was happening. 

The enemy was working overtime in my life to remind me of the past I had escaped.  Truly working to take away the amazing blessing of my husband and the gift of our marriage.  I was weary.  Falling back into old patterns of thinking that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough or smart enough to trudge through the mess that was becoming my life once again, I wanted nothing more than to give up. 

The greater those thoughts became, the further I pushed Jesus away.  I became angry at God.  I just could not understand why I was experiencing the struggles that were taking place in my life.  I wanted answers.  I wanted things fixed and back to normal.  I wanted my husband and perfect marriage back. 

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, my anxiety grew worse, my heart crumbled into smaller pieces, and hopelessness set in in a way I have never known.  Ever.  But God.

Over the years, but God, has become one of those defining moments when there is a pause in my life and a total shift occurs as God moves in ginormous ways.

About five weeks ago, I began an incredible journey with eight other women through a study of 2 Corinthians.  I did not know what this journey would hold, and we are only half way in, but God in His infinite love and grace has moved in my life in ways that I cannot contain any longer. 

Several weeks ago, early in the morning as I sat on my bed with my Bible pressed against my chest and tears streaming down my face, I made the decision to invite Jesus into my mess.  Deep in my heart, I knew and knew well, that I needed Him.  The hurt, the wounds that had cut so deep in my soul and the unbearable pain left me to recognize that if my heart and marriage were going to survive, it would only happen if I invited Him back into the center of it all. And so I did and nothing has been the same.

Each week of this study, God has pressed into the places of my heart and revealed those things that have to go.  Those things preventing me from giving my absolute all to Him.  Things that I used to love, TV shows I just couldn’t miss, food I love to eat…just don’t bring the satisfaction that they did five weeks ago.  The craving I have for Him is so great that when my eyes open each morning, nothing satisfies until I pick up my Bible and spend time with Him.  It’s almost crazy! I haven’t felt this way in forever! But what I know, is that He changes everything. 

Here’s the thing, my husband hasn’t changed.  Our marriage isn’t back to being perfect.  It is me that is changing.  God is drawing me back into His arms after a hiatus that I chose to take. 

I removed Jesus as the foundation of my life and made it my husband.  I turned my attention, my needs and wants, my anxiety and placed it all upon his shoulders to carry.  It was a load he was not created to carry and the load was too heavy so when the storm came, he crumbled, my foundation crumbled. And the only way to rebuild that foundation was to place it back on the One who loved me enough to give His life for me.

What an amazing lesson to learn.  That in my state of hiatus, God didn’t turn His back on me.  He pursued me.  Lavishly loved me.  He drew me back into the unending depths of His love and goodness. He showered me with His grace and lovingly wrapped His arms around me when I invited Him back. 

It is crazy how in the most unexpected moments of life, God walks into the room and changes everything!

 Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters.  As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line-mature, complete and wanting nothing.
James 1:2-4