A New Identity, A Pair of Broken Wings and One Great Hope

I accept that many will never understand the pain others suffer. I accept that unless some things happen to you personally, it’s hard to acknowledge the hurt it causes to others. Sometimes we need to take a step back, stop debating and realize that people are hurting. Suffering. They need to be rescued. They need to know that someone cares and loves them. They need their broken wings healed. They need HOPE. Will you visit Give Her Wings and offer someone hope?

 

Seven years ago, writing became a big part of my life.  I did not know the purpose or reason at the time but God did.  He was aware of my impending storm and prepared me for the road ahead.  

If you have never dealt with divorce, it is hard to understand the emotions involved and even harder to relate.  There is so much pain from feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, feelings of betrayal, fear and hurt that never seem to end.  For me, except for my parents and siblings as well a dear friend who lived two minutes from my home, I was alone. My church, my closest friends and my extended family abandoned me.  At a time when love and support were needed, I found none. It was not only lonely but scary.
After the trials and storms, He has given me a place and a purpose to be for others what I did not have. By sharing His love, His grace and His hope, I can help women who are not just suffering from the loss of their marriage but struggling to find their “new” identity.
Throughout the last few years I have encountered many women whose experiences were much like mine.  Recognizing their pain and being aware of how much it happens, leaves me with a great desire to offer encouragement to those hurting.  I want them to know they are not alone and they have a great HOPE.
Several months ago, I commented on a Facebook post of a friend. That same day I received a friend request from someone I did not know who had also left a comment.  Because we had several mutual friends I accepted and God began a work. Little did I know the way He was working, orchestrating a new journey for me.

As I visited the profile of my new friend, I discovered that my beautiful new friend Megan and her husband are part of an incredible ministry, Give Her Wings.   While reading about this ministry, their mission and purpose left me overcome with gratitude. The mission:  Helping to give specific mothers who have left abusive situations a chance to get on their feet…to breathe…to heal their broken wings and fly free again.   Being one who understands and is passionate to serve those women who are left to start over, I wanted to help.  I wanted to do what they were doing but I was only one person. I didn’t even know how to start such an undertaking.

Time passed but the feelings grew stronger. It took time for me to recognize the nudging of the Holy Spirit to contact Megan.  I didn’t know what to say but began by sharing my story and the desire to be a part of this amazing work God was doing through them. Much to my surprise my message was met with such encouragement.  God opened doors and made it clear that this ministry, Give Her Wings, was where He wanted me.

Less than a month ago I received a special gift in the mail that touched my heart. Megan has written an amazing book also titled Give Her Wings.  This incredible book brought so much healing as the words spoke such truth and love as well as encouragement. It was filled with clarity, compassion and hope and helped to free me from the struggle of guilt I often experience. It is a great resource filled with practical advice for mamas searching for answers in what can be such a dark journey while giving excellent and much-needed advice and wisdom to those walking alongside those dealing with abuse. It is a much needed resource for an area that is greatly lacking in many churches and one every pastor should read. To learn more about her book or to pick up a copy for yourself, click here.

So if you have made it this far into this post I have something for you to consider.  Right now as you are reading, someone’s name has probably come to mind. Someone in your life is dealing with a struggling marriage or with abuse.  With that said, I would like to ask something of you because there is something you can do.

First, you can pray. Whoever God has placed on your heart, say a prayer. You don’t need details because God knows. Realizing the struggle is more than enough.  It simply takes a minute to pray. Mamas and their babies (even the husbands) who are dealing with this battle need to be covered in prayer. These families need to be loved on and shown that they are not alone.  And we can intercede on their behalf by lifting them up in prayer.

My second request is for you to visit the website Give Her Wings. The purpose of Give Her Wings is to raise gifts and money for mothers who have left abusive situations. Oftentimes, when a woman leaves an abusive marriage, she narrowly escapes with little more than her children and the clothes on her back. Give Her Wings desires to do all they can to help specific mothers who are living in very poor conditions presently.  Once there you can read more about the ministry as well blog posts and updates on mamas who have been helped. There is also a place to donate and support the ministry as well as nominate a mama you may know who needs help.

There is so much hurting in our world.  So many people left without hope. People need to be reminded of our mighty God who loves and longs to walk alongside them through the darkest storms in life.  To know that we, the Church, are here to love and walk with them. We need to be the light. We need to be on mission.  We are called to care for those around us who are hurting and in need.

Help me take the first step in making a difference. Visit GiveHerWings.com and see what part you can play in the lives of those who need our help to heal their broken wings and fly free again.  Thank you in advance for your help as we make a difference in a world that often can be dark.

Can I go anywhere apart from you Spirit?

Is there anywhere I can go to escape Your watchful presence?

If I go up into Heaven, You are there.

If I make my bed in the realm of the dead, You are there.

If I ride on the wings of morning,

if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,

Even then You will be there to guide me;

Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there.

Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me,

the light around me will soon be turned night,”

You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes.

For You the night is just as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.

Psalm 139:7-12

Mr. Grey, Freddy Krueger and A Pair of Wings

Ok all my friends out there…especially those who secretly bought Fifty Shades of Grey electronically so no one would know. Yeah you 😉I know you’re out there because I saw you liked the Fifty Shades of Grey Facebook Page 🙂

So now that you’ve supported the book, it is time to step up and help women who have left abusive relationships. It is time to put away your book and stand up for the oppressed. We need YOUR help as we raise support for our mama for the month of March. For anyone who knows my story, this is her story too. So help us love on a very deserving mama and her babies.

Visit Give Her Wings and make your donation. For any size donation you will receive a FREE copy of Give Her Wings: Help and Healing after abuse. An amazing book that brought tremendous healing to this mama’s heart.

Learn to do good;

commit yourselves to seeking justice.

Make right for the world’s most vulnerable

the oppressed, the orphaned, the widow.

Isaiah 1:17

And you DO NOT want to miss this video!!

“In real life, Mr. Grey is really Freddy Krueger.”

 Originally posted on For Always

A Broken Angel, a Shattered Heart and a Beautiful Christmas Miracle

Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Living in a state of anxious thoughts that God can’t bless me.  I cannot be this happy.  I am divorced. My home is broken.  God is angry with me.  He doesn’t want me.

Because of a bad decision, a sin I committed at the age of 15, I lived many years dealing with the consequences.  I also lived believing God was angry with me and had no true purpose for my life.  I lived my life wanting to serve Him and did so in hopes of gaining His approval. Wanting His love. But never feeling worthy.  I felt my life could not be used because of my sins.  My past haunted me daily.

Almost six years ago I embarked on a journey down a very dark path that drew me closer to Jesus.  As I was cast out by a church and turned away by friends and family, I learned what following Jesus truly meant.  I learned how to listen to His voice and follow His leading.  For the first time, I embraced His love and understood and accepted His grace.

When you make a choice to go against the beliefs and advice of others and hold fast to what you know to be true, you expose yourself to great challenges.  Defying another, especially a pastor, leaves you vulnerable to enormous ridicule and loneliness.  When you make a choice to follow the Holy Spirit as He leads, you don’t always win the favor of those around you.  

That was me.  I had spent hours and hours upon my knees in prayer.  Praying for so many things.  Looking for answers.  Looking for change.  When the Spirit began moving in my life and I stood up against those who attempted to manipulate me into following their voice, I faced severe consequences.  But those consequences changed my life forever and grew my faith in ways I never thought possible.

I was left totally on my own.  My church, my friends and certain family abandoned me.  They cast me aside.  At the time, it was devastating.  It was heartbreaking. But now it has become one of the greatest blessings and lessons in my life.

God taught me to trust Him in all things.  Even when it seemed all hope was lost and I felt like I was sinking, He was there.

When you are dealing with storms, often through the darkness, God parts the clouds and gives you a beautiful glimpse of His love.  In dark moments He reveals to you those things or people in your life you need to separate yourself from but also those you need to pull closer.  He provides when all hope feels lost and emptiness is overwhelming. I experienced those moments. They became precious and intimate gifts from my Heavenly Daddy as He made His presence known in my life.

When the gossip spread that I was running from God, having an affair, and had walked away from my faith, He intervened and revealed Himself in mighty ways.  From simple messages from those who loved me to finding bags of groceries at my front door, His presence was undeniable.  From each verbal attack from those who questioned my character and made me doubt myself, God spoke into my heart and reminded me I was His and He had great plans for me. Though others walked away, His presence never left me.  His arms were always there to hold me up as He embraced me with His love.

The past couple of years have amazed.   God has blessed and provided for my children and me in more ways than I can write in one post.  But this Christmas He sent me a precious reminder. Many months ago, my daughter broke something of mine that was very special to me.  It was something from my earlier life that held a significant place in my heart. It had served as a reminder of God’s faithfulness through my trials and storms.  The day it broke, my heart shattered.  But God.

On December 1, 2012 God gave me the most wonderful blessing I had in many years.  He gave me my husband. Some know our story, others have formulated their own version but to summarize, we were two broken people, God redeemed and gave to one another.  My husband is my dream come true.  This Christmas God used him to remind me of His restoring love.

Unbeknownst to me, but not my boys, my husband had collected the pieces of my broken angel and was determined to repair the damage. He spent months gluing back the many broken pieces. Each time I left the house (which was rare) he would pull out those pieces working to repair what I had lost.  Behind the scenes he worked to restore the brokenness.

On Christmas morning, as I pulled the angel out of the bright red bag, overwhelming joy flooded my heart.  As I took it all in my mind immediately went to the love of my Heavenly Daddy.  For years my shattered heart laid a broken mess.  Broken and unraveled, I needed fixing.  

But God.  He scooped up all my broken pieces and one by one began putting them back together.  It took time allowing for the “glue” to dry. It took great precision as each piece now fit a little differently. And some were no longer needed. Things didn’t go back the way they had once been but instead fit together in a new and more beautiful way.

He took the entire broken and shattered mess I had become and turned it into a masterpiece that became a display of His restoring love and grace.  A magnificent portrait of His faithfulness.  Just as my husband restored my angel.

My husband is a beautiful reflection and reminder of God’s love and faithfulness.  His love is something I have never experienced.  Each day because of his love for me, I get a taste of how my Heavenly Daddy loves me.  So complete and selfless.

I look at my life and see what others do not.  Many feel pity for my children and sadness for what we’ve endured. Heavy hearted because they come from a broken home.  But God has shown me something different.  Each time my children smile and laugh, I am reminded that God restored our broken home.  He put together all the broken pieces of our lives and gave us something beautiful.  A home full of love.  A home where He is welcome. He took our shattered broken mess and turned it into an extravagant tapestry of His love and grace.

How enduring is God’s loyal love;

the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion.

Here they are, every morning new!

Your faithfulness, God, is as broad as the day.

Have courage, for the Eternal is all that I will need.

My soul boasts, “Hope in God; just wait.”

It is good,  The Eternal One is good to those who expect Him,

to those who seek Him wholeheartedly.

It is good to wait quietly

for the Eternal to make things right again.

Lamentations 3:22-26

 

Originally posted on For Always

The Enemy’s Playground: Social Media, Theology and Mindless People

Yesterday I shut down my Facebook.  It’s only temporary but a break is needed!

For weeks I watched as Christians attacked Christians as well as past Christians who no longer claim Jesus attacked those who still follow Him. Total chaos. Totally frustrating. Completely ridiculous.

The problem of the day: social media is becoming the Devil’s playground. Don’t get me wrong, social media is great when used responsibly.  I am the aunt of two nieces and a nephew I never get to see except through Facebook and Instagram.  If it were not for social media I wouldn’t recognize them. But for now, I won’t be seeing them on Facebook.  I need a break from the ridiculousness of people and the craziness of Christians.  (I can say that because I am one.)

Here’s the thing.  This started with people attacking “the church.”  A blame game of sorts began as “the church” became the source of our world problems.  For the division being caused among people groups to the personal hurt people experienced by other people. The church appeared to be the cause of it all. It spiraled out of control. The blame being placed on the wrong source. For the record, “the church” is not causing the problems. Problems are caused by people. Dirty, scarred, wounded, and sinful people who have long forgotten that theology and opinions on scripture are not what “saves” us.

So after the blame game came the name calling. Christians calling other Christians heretics and false teachers because of differences of opinions.  It did not seem to matter both people believed Jesus is the Son of God who died for our sins. Instead the importance fell on a disagreement in which one interprets the scripture.  I’m baffled.  How does this happen?  The enemy at work and causing division. Oh how we’ve become his pawns.

We have disregarded the truth that the sparkling white garment of righteousness we wear was not one we bought or created by the theology we believe. Instead the precious blood of Jesus, the One who gave up His life for those He loved, purchased the garment we wear.  He alone lavishes us with grace and forgives. Sadly the work on the cross may have been overlooked by many who claim to follow Jesus.  I digress.

Through out the events of the last few weeks, it turns out people “know” the mind of God.  They know His thoughts and plans.  Somehow they’ve seen time from beginning to end and know the hearts of others. How does this happen? How does someone reach the place of believing they cannot only see into the heart and mind of someone else but perceive the mind of God as well?  The reasoning is beyond me. My understanding: only God is omnipotent and omniscient.

What makes this entire situation worse?  The world is watching.  Those without Jesus scrutinize the battles among believers taking place on Facebook or any other form of social media.  WHAT the heck people?  How mindless can we be?  What part of our arguing with one another leads anyone to Jesus?  Do you understand our personal theology is not what changes hearts?  Our words do NOT create the change.  Jesus changes hearts.  When did we become so arrogant to assume that something we speak at someone is what changes their life?  It is NOT anything we do. We may plant the seed but the powerful work of the Holy Spirit brings the change. People we have to get it together!

When asked, Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to love God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.  (Matthew 22:37-39)  Let’s give those two things a try.  Maybe if we tried loving instead of condemning all those we disagree with,  more people would want to hear about the Jesus we claim to follow.  We might even begin to see change.  How about it Jesus followers?  Up for the challenge?  Stop fighting one another and let’s start loving like Jesus commanded!

 

Originally posted on  All things New

 

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Broken hearts, puffy eyes and lots of tears: Need to be rescued?

 I am writing this while my heart is heavy.  It’s hurting.  I do not normally write when I feel this way but today is different.  

I typically spend my days attempting to find ways to encourage others through things I write. I try my best to be positive and thankful always looking for the good in things.  But days come when even I have a hard time finding the “happy” moments. Today I’m writing from a real place. Today I hurt.

I feel rejected and unloved.  Left out and tossed aside. Unimportant to those around me. Hurting is tiring but keeping it all inside is exhausting.

God already knows my heart.  He knows how I’m feeling.  He knows the origin of the hurt.  The tears I’ve cried.  He’s recorded every one and so there is no need to pretend with Him.

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each on in your book.

Psalm 56:8

Today I’m allowing Him the room to comfort and console. Allowing Him to touch those sensitive places in my heart that I try to hide from everyone else.  I often try to conceal the wounds that cut deep and leave me vulnerable but today I am going to release them.

Today I am resting in His promises.  Today I am trusting in His unfailing love for me.  Though others may find me less important or expendable, He cherishes me.  He loves me.  He in fact sings over me.

For the Lord your God is living among you.  He is a mighty Savior.

He will take delight in your with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.

Zephaniah 3:17

Not every day can be filled with butterflies and roses.  Some days involve tears and puffy eyes.  Some days I have to remove the mask and trust that God is present and working through the hurt in my life.  Some days I need to let the tears fall. Some days I am brokenhearted.

No matter your hurt.  No matter the pain you feel, God loves you. His love quiets and comforts. He is close to those whose hearts are broken.  Don’t be afraid to cry out in your loneliness or pain. He is closer than you know and listening, ready with open arms to rescue your broken heart.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;

He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18

 

Originally posted on todayforalways.blogspot.com

Grace Deficiency: Pointed fingers, upturned noses and a great big lack of grace

So imagine being told someone has no desire to meet your spouse.  Because of preconceived notions and judgments they have formulated in their own mind. The person who has most demonstrated God’s love to you, they do not want to meet. The dilemma I face brings much heartache.  But God is turning my dilemma into a great lesson.

I learned a lot about people over the course of a messy divorce.   I learned even more about the unending love and amazing grace God has for His children. For those who stand in judgment of others and refuse to accept them leads me to believe a grace deficiency exists.

I have come to realize when you struggle with sin, there will be those who stand casting stones.  They point their fingers and make their judgements neglecting to notice the plank in their own eye. The large plank leaves very little room for God to move.

So imagine standing in a room full of people.  You are  alone and weighed down by the struggles and sin that consume you.  As you look around the room, you try to make sense of a life gone wrong.  All around you are those who turn up their noses, pointing fingers while making assumptions of every wrong decision you have made. The loneliness consumes you.  Suddenly you look up and see a familiar face standing next to you.  You are flooded with confusion. Why?  Because it is Jesus and He is standing beside you.  You don’t understand.  You see, the room is full of people who have lived such good lives.  They do all the right things.  They say the right things. Their lives are full of good works. But Jesus is standing with you?  As if He hears the thoughts playing through your head, He speaks.

 

“Healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do.”

Then He adds,

“Now go and learn the meaning of this scripture: I want you to show mercy not offer sacrifices.  For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

 

Matthew 9:12-13

 

Tears stream down your face. There it is.  In a nutshell.  He is standing with you because you get it.  You know you are a sinner and you know you need His grace.

 

Sometimes those living a “blameless” life find it hard to understand how “others” can be used by God.  But the verse above makes it clear to me.  Jesus takes our greatest failures, our deepest regrets, our biggest heartaches and uses them to do amazing things.  When we seek His forgiveness in true repentance, He restores us.  Not only does He restore, He makes us shine brighter than we ever did before.  Why?  Because we get it.  We recognize that we are frail, weak and sinful. We know we can not live this life on our own.   Once held in bondage by rules and regulations, we missed walking with Him in an intimate way.  However we now understand what it means to fall flat on our face.  To feel the love of the Creator of the Universe as He picks us up and says, “My child I love you.”  The many times we have gotten it wrong and experienced His grace makes it impossible for us to turn our noses down at another.  Instead we see a world full of people just like us.  People who are hurting and broken, longing to be rescued.

 

Oh the longing to be rescued.  But that is exactly what He does.  He rescues.  He pulls us out of the miry clay and begins to mold and fashion us into something beautiful.  But we are not just beautiful.  The incredible thing is we are usable too.  Because we have been beaten and bruised by the ugliness of the world, we’re easier to shape into His likeness. We are easier to mold because we yearn to be like Him. We want to be transformed.   We long to share Him and everything He has done and given to us.  We can’t get enough.  We look at the world and see what He sees:  The hurt, the lonely, the struggling, the abandoned, the beaten, the betrayed, the orphaned, and our hearts overflow with love for them.  We see the world with His eyes.  Our hearts flow with compassion, mercy and grace for those who need hope, who need Him just like we did. And so, He uses us.   Because of His grace we are used to bring His Father glory and show His Father’s love to those who need rescuing.

 

As Christians, none of this is new information. Throughout scripture we find Jesus with the sinners.  With the sinners, the downtrodden and the lost.  He was with the ones who needed love and rescuing but most of all, needed Him. He avoided the ones who “followed” the rules. They had no place for Him in their lives because they did not get it.

 

The mission of Jesus: To rescue the wounded and broken and love the one’s cast aside by the world. That should be our mission too.  Not to turn up our noses at those who stumble and fall but instead to offer them the grace, mercy and love that Jesus offered to us.  Why? Because He offered it to us first.

Love or Winning: Does it pay to be right all the time?

Why all the negativity? There is so much disrespect and lack of compassion toward others because of differences in beliefs, ideology and/or theology. I do not understand how those who profess to follow Jesus and profess love can be so hateful to others.   I read as people express an opinion on a topic or share their personal belief and are then mocked or disparaged by other “believers.” The image to the left paints a picture of what we see almost daily taking place on social media. I am bewildered by the action. How can one person profess love and Jesus yet disrespect, humiliate or hurt someone with different views or beliefs? How is that love or a reflection of Jesus?

As believers, we live in a constant state of battle in this world.  An ongoing war with an enemy whose only mission is to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) and yet knowing this, believers succumb to his tactics every day. He seeks to divide, destroy, deceive, and distract. To cause devastation, disappointment, disagreements, disbelief, and discontentment. He discourages, promotes discrimination, dishonesty, disillusionment, and creates disorder.  He brings destruction. And yet even though believers know this, they participate in his work.

So how does this affect relationships around us? How does the work of the enemy impact us in a personal way as a follower of Jesus? What does following Jesus even look like?

We first start by acknowledging that following Jesus does not come without sacrifice. In the book of Luke, Jesus is speaking to a crowd, and He tells them, “if you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else-your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters- yes even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26).

That is such a powerful yet hard statement. However, though hard to hear, Jesus is not saying that we are to hate people because that goes against His command to love everyone (Matthew 22:39). Instead, the point He is making is that no one else in the world should come before Him.  There is no other relationship on this earth more important than a relationship with Him. That our love, devotion, and commitment for Him should surpass every other relationship on this earth. Jesus said, “Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against- or two in favor and three against. Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law” (Luke 12:51-53).

Now reading that you might think that His message is full of division. And in part it is.  It is to separate those who believe in Him from those who do not believe. Because the message He brought was not one of just love and hope but of holiness too. It was a message that points people to His Father. A message that speaks of love and forgiveness from sin.   He brought a message that is full of redemption and grace but it is a message that is not always easy and it is often rejected because of pride and selfishness. It is a message that can and will cause division. But His message is not a message that should bring disrespect and hate between people. That is the work of the enemy alone.

As followers of Jesus we will not always agree with or share the opinions of others. We each are responsible for allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our lives and to reveal truth. But that means individually seeking after truth by spending time in Truth. Spending time with the Holy Spirit. Not relying on someone to find truth for us.

It is not up to any individual to decide what opinion or belief is right or wrong for another person. We are no one’s Holy Spirit. We each are imperfect people and because of our imperfection will not always be right which means it is not our responsibility to force our opinion, belief, or conviction on someone else. That work belongs to the Holy Spirit.  We can, however, plant the seed or share a belief/opinion but only if it can be done with love and leaves room for the movement of God and the Holy Spirit to work in the lives of those around us just as He works in our own.

So for those, who profess to be believers, yet choose to share opinions and do so by choosing to ridicule or humiliate friends, family or strangers with a different view, please stop.   Our responsibility as believers, while here, is to love Jesus with the entirety of our being and to share Him with others.  We have been given a mission. We are to go and make disciples. We are to introduce those around us to Jesus. We are to care more about the many who will spend an eternity in hell without Him than making sure our opinion is heard.  And that cannot be accomplished by working so diligently to push people away with our haughty attitudes and far from being like Jesus behavior.  We are called to live by example and that should be seen in word and in deed.  Because truthfully, who wants to listen to someone who mocks others? Or disparages those they are called to love?  Who wants what that person has or to be like that person?  That is the furthest thing from Jesus.  So instead respect and love one another.

We all need work.  No one is perfect.   A display of love and grace instead of negativity and disrespect just might be what is needed to lead someone over to your own way of thinking.  Just something to think about….Maybe 🙂

Those with knowledge know when to be quiet,

and those with understanding know how to remain calm.

Proverbs 17:27

 

Have you seen a person who is wise in his own sight?

Know that there is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 26:12

You shall love-”Love the Eternal One your God with everything you have:  all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind – and love your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27