During the American Civil War, rival armies camped out on opposite banks of the Potomac River. A musical contest erupted. Whenever the Federal band played one of its national tunes, the Confederate musicians would quickly strike up a Southern melody. On one occasion one of the bands started to play “Home, Sweet Home” and immediately the contest stopped, and soon voices from both sides of the river could be heard singing, “There’s no place like home.” Whatever differences each side had assumed, those differences were diminished by a common understanding—both sides would rather be at home nurturing their families.
It has been said that assumption is the lowest form of communication. If so, then at the time of the conquest of Canaan, Israel was at an all time low! When the 2½ tribes who built their homes east of the Jordan River after fighting and settling the land they built an altar as a monument to God’s faithfulness. But that’s not how the other 9½ tribes saw it. They viewed this altar as “competition” to the central sanctuary where all of Israel was supposed to worship. What was intended to be a symbol of unity was mistaken for a symbol of apostasy. This assumption led to hearsay and the hearsay almost led to civil war: “The whole assembly gathered at Shiloh and prepared to go to war against their brother tribes” (Joshua 22:12). Finally, a committee investigated it and the accused were cleared—all in the nick of time.
How many times are we willing to assume the worst? How often do we hear one side of a story and then form a conclusion based on that? We can become jury and judge, all based on sinful assumption. Rather than personally investigating or confronting, we go to others first, many of whom have the same inadequate information. “What a shame, what folly, to give advice before listening to the facts!” (Proverbs 18:13). Before fighting with a fellow believer, think of your future home—you’ll be spending eternity with your offending brother or sister. Ask God to help you get things straightened out here first.
Skip Heitzig
Friendship
Good or evil?
“The tongue can kill or nourish life” Proverbs 18:21
Most people do not realize the power of their words and how they can be used for great good or for evil.
Not long ago, a neighbor carelessly and without any idea of harm said some negative words about me that for quite some time have had a profound impact upon my thinking. It has been a warning to me about the consequences of the words I use toward others. The harmful words of this neighbor affected my self-image. It has taken time but I have been able to put it aside. Someone told me, “You don’t count your critics, you weigh them.” When I came to realize that the neighbor was being unwise and careless in her comments, it no longer had any significance in my life.
I got to thinking about that incident when I read about a young college girl who returned home for Christmas after her first semester at a university. It had been an extremely difficult time for her both socially and academically. She really had no knowledge of what worldliness looked like in a college setting.
Because of loneliness and the fear of being rejected by her peers, she fell into a number of temptations that went against her convictions. One morning she decided to meet with her pastor and struggled to get out the words in her cry for help.
When she arrived, her pastor was happy to see her and wanted to hear all about what she had been doing during her time at college. She blurted out that she was a complete mess and that between the alcohol and sex she could no longer stand herself. He responded to her with “What? You, the most stable and mature Christian girl in our church? You should be ashamed of yourself.” The girl immediately ran out the door crying.
Often times, Christians lose their opportunity to be redemptive because of their judgementalism. Sometimes our outbursts of rejection can drive people completely away and further into sin. Before we speak, we should consider our words wisely and think ahead to the impact they might make on the life of another.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and healing to the bones” Proverbs 16:24
Loyalty
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17
How can I know who my friends really are? This question is often times perplexing but with time spent in reading God’s word, He reveals to us the answer to this question. One test is discovering ones loyalty. This test comes when a true friend loves us through the very best and worst of times in our life. People’s true colors are revealed when we find ourselves going through extremely difficult or painful circumstances and how they react and respond to us.
True friends can also wound us in painfully awful ways that in turn can be true blessings. A true friend is not afraid to tell us the hard truth even when they know it may hurt us. Because we can trust them and know that they are loyal, we are able to trust their honesty. We have to be weary of those in our lives that do not have the courage to confront us when we truly need it.
A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
Proverbs 11:13
A true friend is also trust worthy. We can speak to them in confidence and know that what we share of our lives is safe with them. Gossip, which is the sharing of rumors or information of an intimate and personal nature, will ultimately destroy friendships and will create much friction. We should surround ourselves with the wise. Those friends speak frugally and use their tongue to nourish and feed, not tear down. It is amazing how a simple word of encouragement and support can motivate a person to do the right thing and understand truth. Our tongue does not only affect our OWN life but can also change the life of those we choose to either bless or curse.
In the end, a true friend is there to comfort, encourage and speak truth when we need it and to love us where we are and offer us support through the hard times.
The Fellowship of Love
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
(John 13:34 NIV)
Love is an act of our will and God says that we must choose to love one another no matter how we may feel towards someone or how unlovable we may think that they seem. No matter how difficult it is at times to love, we are constantly and deeply to love those believers that God brings into our lives at church, at bible studies, our neighborhoods and our families.
Love is a command that was given to us by God and it is our decision as to whether or not we will love as an act of obedience to the One who told us that we MUST love.
“And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
1 John 4:21
Scriptures says that love and obedience are synonymous with one another and Jesus tells us that if we love Him we will obey His commandments. (John14:15) Obeying is connected with love because it is a reflection of our unity as believers in Christ and that our foundation is in God. Jesus destroyed the illusion that love is based on feelings and He has pressed that definition to a higher level. Real love is the sacrifice of one life for another. Real love is Jesus on the cross and dying for us even while we are still lost in our sins. (Romans 5:8) We are to view one another as valued children in the eyes of our Heavenly Father realizing that everyone is well worth our time and energy because we are all a part of God’s family. We must choose to love and not selectively choose whom we will love.
Love requires us to be in fellowship with one another because we cannot be obedient to the command of Christ if we are living in isolation. We must be connected in some way in order to show love to one another. God created each of us differently with different personalities and perspectives, which allows us each to bring something different to the table. It also means there will be hurt feelings or hang-ups because we will not always get along. Pride results in a lot of our issue but another reason is that it can just be too hard. We fail at being authentic with one another in our relationships and genuine relationships require a lot of work. We must be willing to be transparent and honest and able to confront one another in order to have relationships that are real and meaningful. It is always a lot easier to have those superficial relationships that allow us to condemn one another when we disagree about something and run the other way instead of committing to uphold what God has given each of us. God placed within us the need for real commitment and because His commitment to each of us is unbreakable, He wants us to extend that same commitment to each other. What I have learned is that this kind of commitment takes time and that is something that has become incredibly scarce in our lives today because of the self-centered way of thinking that has been taught to us by this world. It all comes down to choices and our commitment to Christ. Relationships allow us the opportunity to grow in Christ and love for one another as we learn to deal with conflict, forgiveness, reconciliation and commitment.
God planned for us to have healthy Christian relationships and this is how He designed it IF we are willing to make each other a priority and make the time to spend with one another. Proverbs 18:24 says that there is a
“friend who sticks closer than a brother”
and the only way to become this to one another is by focusing on having quality relationships in our lives and reflect Christ.
“A friend is always loyal,
and a brother is born to help in time of need.”
Proverbs 17:17
The love and commitment of Christ is a high standard to follow and it means that we should always be striving to reach towards that standard through His grace because on our own, it IS impossible. We must fully rely on His Spirit living within us to love as He loves and we must practice the most basic behavior of commitment and that is simply showing up; being there for those God has placed in your life.
“Father, may I not run from relationships because they become too hard. Teach me a love and commitment that can come only from Your Spirit living within me. Help me to always be available to those who need me and not focused on myself and my I always be reminded of my unbreakable commitment with You.”
A Sister in Christ
“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”
Romans 12:10
What kind of sister are you to your fellow believers? Our love for God can be determined by how much we love other people. We are to love God with all of our heart, mind and soul and many claim to do so but actions and words do not always reflect this in our relationships with others. Do we really love as we say we do?
I believe that our relationship with God is truly reflected by the relationships we have with others. Scripture says,
“If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.” 1 John 4:20-21 We must take the time to search our hearts and evaluate where we are as individuals, where we are with God and with one another.
There are times when we get upset with someone, someone offends or hurts us or we become disconnected from others and these situations become a reflection of what our relationship with God looks like and how we are presenting Him to the world. Our lives are to reflect the Glory of God and so all that we do should be reflecting who He is within us. Do we truly love God when we have unloving feelings for our sister? Scripture says “NO”. We cannot justify our feelings by saying things like “they don’t like me”, “they hurt me”, or “they don’t care about me and my life anyway” because when we love God and we choose to be obedient to Him we must live like Him and love others unconditionally.
Jesus says, “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48
We need to be more like God and His perfection and less of how this world has taught us to be; self-centered. We must stop reacting as the world teaches us to react to the stress and hardships of our everyday living. We have to remember that our positions, our callings, our representation is to be that of a reflection of Jesus. There can be nothing less!!
There are things in our lives that clearly impede us from loving one another as we are called to love.
1. We should not judge one another. We all are guilty of this sin and it is one of the biggest hindrances in our love for others. All other obstacles trickle down from our judging what others have and what they do.
“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling-block or obstacle in your brother’s way.”
(Rom 14:13).
2. We should not pursue lawsuits against one another. How can we really love someone if we are suing someone over trivial issues?
“The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?”
3. We should not devour each other with our words.-The more we pick out one another’s flaws and focus on the things of others, the more it will consume us and make us bitter and unhappy.
“If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
(Gal. 5:15).
4. We should not be jealous of one another-We cannot want the things that others have. God made each of us unique and gave us each our own gifts and in that, we must find contentment.
“Let us not become conceited, irritate one another, or be jealous of one another.”
(Gal. 5:26).
5. We should not speak evil or complain against one another.-Gossip is the killer amongst relationships. As Christians we are supposed to be representing Christ and so when we are out and “speaking evil” of our sisters, what kind of example are we setting and what are we saying about the God that we claim to love.
” Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.”
(James 4:11).
“Do not grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!”
(James 5:9).
6. We should not seek glory from one another.
“How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another, and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?”
(John 5:44).
John 5:44 points out the heart of this problem. When we do not recognize our sinfulness and need, without faith in Jesus and the cross, without truly finding rest in who we are in Christ and His acknowledgement of us, we look towards others for justification and our sense of refuge and worth. When we seek glory from one another, it makes us unable to love one another in the biblical sense according to the Word. We find ourselves becoming obsessed with things such as:
How well do I do things?
How do I look?
How important am I?
When we are seeking glory from one another, we impede our ability to trust in God’s approval and His evaluation of our lives. This kind of trust causes us to seek from others only that which God can give us. Seeking glory means, we are seeking our self-assurance and sense of worth from the praise, applause, and approval of others rather than resting by faith in God’s promises of His Truth. Ultimately, the glory that comes from God is found only in Jesus Christ, and it is through Christ we find our confidence and purpose. Not only must we come to Christ to be righteous, but also we must learn to rest in God’s opinion of who we are in His Beloved, the Lord Jesus.
Loving one another can be such a difficult thing when we each are so different but because we have a commitment to Christ, this makes us each a sister in Christ. When we fail to love one another as God has called us to love, we hinder the relationships that God has given us and things around us become damaged, including the image of God. We are to take the command given to us by Christ to love one another seriously because it is a powerful force for a watching world to see.
There are things we can do in order to love as God has commanded us to love.
We must remember that we each are a child of God. No matter how annoying people can be or how much you disagree with what they do, God loves them just as He loves us and they are just as precious to Him as we are. These people are the true test of our willingness to love as He has commanded. We must also always be willing to except others as they are and not play favorites. We love because we are commanded to love and not because we are looking for something in return. We must stop asking God to change everyone else and instead ask Him to change our own hearts and attitudes. We must learn to love people as they are and not just tolerate the things in them we do not like. It gives us the opportunity to practice patience, humility and grace.
We must forgive those who have wronged us and move on. We all are a work in progress and will fail repeatedly and Jesus told us that we are to always forgive those who have offended us and in fact we are to love them even more and move forward.
We must not be afraid to go to one another and confess the sin in our life. We should be able to pray and encourage one another. We should be able to come to each other and share our lives, which allow us to draw closer and have relationships that are more intimate in the Lord. We can help to carry one anothers burdens and help one another to find healing. When we live with integrity, we are able to encourage others and be an example of what faith looks like to the world watching.
We must serve one another. This means our time, our money and our lives.
We must be there to comfort one another in times of loss, pain and loneliness. We must be willing to share the hope of Jesus with those hurting so that together we may draw closer to God and one another.
We need to challenge one another. We have to learn humility and be able to accept that we do not know it all. There will always be someone else out there who knows more than we do or that can do something better and so we must learn to be humble, stretch ourselves, learn new things and hear what others are saying.
We must be willing to confront or correct one another when we are being disobedient to the authority of God. It can never be done out of spite but because we love one another and want to restore intimacy within our relationships with the Lord.
Loving as God commanded is not always easy but when our eyes are focused on Him and we are His disciple and He is living through us then our desire becomes to reflect Him and bring Him glory. When we finally give Him our lives and allow Him the control then we are able to love, minister, forgive, and so forth as He has called us because we are living through His strength and not our own.
Spend time with Him allowing Him the access to your heart. Allow Him to show you the areas that you cling too tightly too that keep Him from having full control of your life. When you finally let go and allow Him to do the work, it makes being His follower, His disciple a little bit easier and loving your sister a lot less complicated.
“Father, search my heart and show me the dark places that I try to hide from You. You see and know all things and so convict me of the areas that keep me from loving my sister as you have called me to love. Give me eyes to see my sister the way that You see her; Your beautiful and unique creation that loves You like I do.”
Inner Character
This posting and the following one are to address an anonymous comment sent in regards to “Letting go”.
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.”
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
James 4:1-11
Justification of our sin through action in itself is a sin. 1 Peter 3:9 says, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing” which means there is no room for ungodly response to someone else’s actions. If we feel that someone has wronged us, Jesus again said that we are to take it to that person and make him or her aware. Many times, we do not give people the benefit of the doubt. Often our wandering minds have no control and so something someone says or does in complete innocence is taken out of context and turned into exactly what Satan wanted you to hear or see. That is why we must always be thinking on truth. We must always be aware of Satan and his attacks because he is only here to steal, kill and destroy our families, our marriages and our friendships. He wants nothing more than to separate all the things that God has brought together.
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
James 3:16
James says that most of our quarrels and arguments come from our own selfish ambition. It comes from our own personal desires. We see something in someone else that we wish we had or maybe do have and do not recognize and it becomes Satan’s feeding ground in our life turning it into our heart issue. We become quick to point out every flaw we think we see in someone because we make it our own personal mission to find fault in his or her life. My worship pastor reminds us a lot that when you are pointing a finger at someone else’s sin or faults, that there are three fingers pointing back at you. I have really had to think about that because how quick are we to focus on someone else’s issues when really the issue at hand is our own heart. Whatever is in our heart is very visible to other people every time we open our mouths because the words that come from our mouth speak loudly to the condition of our hearts.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”
Luke 6:41-45
There is in fact a reason that we should be very careful and slow to judge because we all have huge flaws that must be dealt with in our own lives. A judgmental spirit can often reflect someone who is self-righteous or superficial or possibly, who has an insensitive heart. It is hard to look clearly at the lives of others when we have a plank in our own eye because it blurs our vision. We can examine ourselves for our self-righteousness by considering how often we are quick to correct others rather than correcting our own attitudes and actions. Jesus does not tell us not to examine the lives of others because we should help hold one another accountable but we must be careful to make sure that our eyes are also cast towards ourselves. We must be walking in humility in order to walk more closely with God.
We are to reflect good character and our relationship with God should be producing good fruit. Our fruit exposes where our lives are rooted and whether they are rooted in Christ. To judge a tree’s fruit, we cannot just look at that one particular moment or season of production but the whole period of production from that tree. The product of that tree reflects the heart and the product of the discipleship of that tree reflects the inner character, which Jesus refers to as the treasure of the heart. (Luke 12:35) Simply stated, our works, our speech and actions are a snapshot of our hearts. A good heart is faithful while a hypocritical one is not. Obedience is not about keeping the rules we create but that of faithfulness to God. We cannot acknowledge the authority of Jesus if we are not pursuing our commitment to walk with Him in our daily lives. Trusting in God because of our faithfulness in our walk frees us to treasure the relationships that are at the center of our lives. Do we value one another by serving and giving to one another or do we value our selves and hoard up all that we have because that ends up being the true reflection of our heart? All we have to do is look at our heart to know if we are fully trusting God and walking with Him.
“Father, may we not look at others with a tainted heart but that of a heart that is filled with a love for You. May we not point fingers at others but recognize in our own lives the areas of our heart that we need to examine and make pure. Help us to love as You have loved and to be a blessing to others at all times. May we always be able to turn the other cheek and show true godliness in our lives.”
Walking in Truth
This is a posting I wrote and posted on April 28, 2008. I am reposting it in response to a comment that was sent about the Letting Go posting. I hope this will help to answer the question that was presented in that comment.
“Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
Matthew 22:37-40
What is truth? Paul wrote that we are to think on truth. We are to think about the truth of God and His word as well as ourselves and others at all times. It is important that we know truth and that we view the world and those in it through the truth of God and not ourselves or our circumstances.
God created every one of us as a wonderful and unique creation. He did not create one mold and then destroy it saying that everyone must fit into this likeness. We each are fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalms 139:14) our Father who loves each of us just as we are flaws and all. He created each of us with a purpose that He so carefully planned for our lives. (2 Timothy 1:9) He gave each of us our own unique and special gifts that can be used to serve others and glorify Him (1 Cor 12:7-11) and He loves and accepts us when the rest of the world may turn their back in rejection towards us. This is truth and when other thoughts enter into our mind, to the contrary we must recognize the source as coming from the father of lies. We may know what is true about ourselves and be secure in it but suddenly someone walks into our life and we find ourselves comparing who we are to who they are and thus enters sin.
As women, we must guard our minds from the overactive tendencies we have that can interfere with our relationships with friends and family. We must guard our hearts and minds by knowing truth so that Satan may not gain ground in our lives. It is so very easy for us to allow our minds to wander as we try to read between the lines of a conversation or the actions of someone else. Our minds can come up with all kinds of things to justify the behavior of others. Essentially, we are playing mind games with ourselves. The question when we head in this direction should always be “is this truth?” Praise the Lord for His truth because without it we would have no hope and no trust.
When our hope and trust comes from the Lord, it makes thinking on truth easier to accept. Hope and trust come from being secure in His love and loving others with His love. 1 Corinthians 13 clearly talks about love and what it is and it is not. As believers, we are called to love one another. Let us look at the meaning of this passage.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Truth clearly states that “love does not delight in evil” and that it “rejoices in truth”. Really read over that passage. When we find ourselves being jealous or keeping record of wrongs then we are not walking in the truth that God has laid out before us. When we question someone’s actions or words or even distort them then we are violating what is required of us to love others as God has commanded. When we read into their words or actions instead of accepting them as they were presented then essentially, we are making that person out to be a liar. We must always ask ourselves what is true and what is real.
One of the hardest things to do is to train our minds not to think evil about another person. Trying to not second-guess or read between the lines is so hard because our sinful minds automatically want to assume the worst in people. We as women are very sensitive and emotional and many times take things out of context and lose focus and when we find ourselves second-guessing or analyzing each other, we then hinder the opportunities of having healthy relationships with one another. This leads us into Matthew.
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Matthew 18:15
In order to have healthy relationships we must obey truth. When someone has hurt or offended us, we are to go to them in private and bring it to their attention. This means that we should not waste away our days wondering and worried about what others think about us because truth says that if they are walking in truth then they will bring it before us. Instead of being hung up on whether or not people are having critical thoughts about you, turn toward God and His word or towards your mentor. They are the ones who know your heart and your attitude. They do not look at you through judgmental eyes and they will help you recognize or identify wrong attitudes.
The conclusion,
The wicked man flees though no one pursues,
but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
Proverbs 28:1
Basically, if you are not guilty, don’t act like it. If you are walking in truth then do not allow the world to condemn you and reject you because Christ is living through you. Enjoy your relationships that are from God and do not hold back from giving yourself to others for fear of what they may think. God places people in our lives for many different reasons and we decide whether they will be a blessing or a burden by whether or not we are walking in the truth of God’s word.
“Father, help me to hide Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against my sister. Help me always to think on truth and to shy away from the tendencies of second-guessing those in my life. May I always take them at their word and remind me to always seek Your approval above all else.”
Walking in Truth
“Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
Matthew 22:37-40
What is truth? Paul wrote that we are to think on truth. We are to think about the truth of God and His word as well as ourselves and others at all times. It is important that we know truth and that we view the world and those in it through the truth of God and not ourselves or our circumstances .
God created everyone of us as a wonderful and unique creation. He did not create one mold and then destroy it saying that everyone must fit into this likeness. We each are fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalms 139:14) our Father who loves each of us just as we are flaws and all. He created each of us with a purpose that He so carefully planned out for our lives. (2 Timothy 1:9) He gave each of us our own unique and special gifts that can be used to serve others and glorify Him (1 Cor 12:7-11) and He loves and accepts us when the rest of the world may turn their back in rejection towards us. This is truth and when other thoughts enter into our mind to the contrary we must recognize the source as coming from the father of lies. We may know what is true about ourselves and be secure in it but suddenly someone walks into our life and we find ourselves comparing who we are to who they are and thus enters sin.
As women we must guard our minds from the overactive tendencies we have that can interfere with our relationships with friends and family. We must guard our hearts and minds by knowing truth in order for Satan to not gain ground in our lives. It is so very easy for us to allow our minds to wander as we try to read between the lines of a conversation or the actions of someone else. Our minds can come up with all kinds of things to justify the behavior of others. Essentially we are playing mind games with ourselves. The question when we head in this direction should always be “is this truth?” Praise the Lord for His truth because without it we would have no hope.
When our hope comes from the Lord it makes thinking on truth easier to accept. Hope comes from being secure in His love and loving others with His love. 1 Corinthians 13 clearly talks about love and what it is and is not. As believers we are called to love one another. Let’s look at this passage and what it means.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Truth clearly states that “love does not delight in evil” and that it “rejoices in truth”. Really read over that passage. When we find ourselves being jealous or keeping record of wrongs then we are not walking in the truth that God has laid out before us. When we question someone’s actions or words or even distort them then we are violating what is required of us to love others as God has commanded. When we read into their words or actions instead of accepting them as they were presented then essentially we are making that person out to be a liar. We must always ask ourselves what is true and what is real.
One of the hardest things to do is to train our minds to not think evil about another person. Trying to not second-guess or read between the lines is so hard because our sinful minds automatically want to assume the worst in people. We as women are very sensitive and emotional and many times take things out of context and lose focus and when we find ourselves second-guessing or analyzing each other we then hinder the opportunities of having healthy relationships with one another. This leads us into Matthew.
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.
Matthew 18:15
In order to have healthy relationships we must obey truth. When someone has hurt or offended us we are to go to them in private and bring it to their attention. This means that we should not waste away our days wondering and worried about what others think about us because truth says that if they are walking in truth then they will bring it before us. Instead of getting hung up on whether or not people are having critical thoughts about you, turn toward God and His word or towards your mentor. Those are the ones who know your heart and your attitude. They do not look at you through judgmental eyes and they will help you recognize or identify wrong attitudes.
The conclusion,
The wicked man flees though no one pursues,
but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
Proverbs 28:1
Basically, if you’re not guilty, don’t act like it. If you’re walking in truth the don’t allow the world to condemn you and reject you because Christ is living through you. Enjoy the relationships that God has placed you in and don’t hold back for fear of what others think. God places people in our lives for many different reasons and we decide whether they will be a blessing or a burden by whether or not we are walking in the truth of God’s word.
“Father, help me to hide Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against my sister. Help me to always think on truth and to shy away from the tendencies of second-guessing those in my life. May I always take them at their word and remind me to always seek Your approval above all else.”
Written by Nicole
The company we keep
As I was studying through the book of Esther I was impressed by the lesson that was offered on friendship. As the King’s second in command, Haman was a close confident to King Ahaduerus. The King trusted Haman and was influenced by him. In fact because of his close relationship with Haman the King inadvertently allowed an evil decree to be passed that nearly annihilated a nationality of people. It wasn’t until after Haman’s true intentions were revealed via Esther that the King understood the character of his close counsel.
“Lord help us in our relationships to have discernment. Help us to be wise in choosing our close counsel. I pray that we have hearts that long after you and that it’s reflected in the close friends that we choose. Help us have the courage to modify the relationships that are harmful to our spiritual walk and help us also to be the type of friends that other Christian can be in relationship with. Help us in our struggle against the tendency to please man and thus be influenced by him and instead let us fear you and act in ways that please you.”
Many verses exist in the bible that cautions us in our relationships. Such attention should be paid to this topic because we are swayed by those with whom we associate. The Lord says two are better than one (Ecc. 4:9-12). Our relationships should spur us on in our race of life and grow us so that we mature spiritually in our Christian walk. In Proverbs (12:26) we are admonished that “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
He who walks with wise people will become wise himself, but that he who keeps company with fools will he himself be destroyed.
Proverbs 13:20
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.
2 Corinthians 6:14)
Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits. Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Have you ever caught yourself adopting some of your friends’ sayings, mannerisms, fashions or even habits? Would you deny that you can be influenced irregardless as to how strong you think you are? It’s so so so important that we prayerfully handle our relationships. The issue here is not whether or not we should befriend non believers. I believe that we should so that we can draw them to Christ. The issue here is to whom we should yoke ourselves.
“Lord help us in our relationships to have discernment. Help us to be wise in choosing our close counsel. I pray that we have hearts that long after you and that it’s reflected in the close friends that we choose. Help us have the courage to modify the relationships that are harmful to our spiritual walk and help us also to be the type of friends that other Christian can be in relationship with. Help us in our struggle against the tendency to please man and thus be influenced by him and instead let us fear you and act in ways that please you.”
Written by Stephanie
Two are better than one
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Have you ever looked at something on paper and it just didn’t add up or make sense? How about a relationship? Are you in a relationship with someone who is your complete opposite? I think for the majority of us we could say that we are married to our opposite. What about your friendships? Are any of them your opposite? Have you ever really thought about how that all works out?
My dearest and closet friend is my opposite. She and I view things very differently and for the most part are on opposite sides of the spectrum. It can make for an interesting relationship. A few weeks ago we were talking about how different we are and how it is that we are so close with one another yet see things so differently. We recognized that God plays a tremendous role within our relationship.
When friends pray together and share their faith they are able to reveal the deepest parts of themselves to each other because of trust. That trust can only come when we are secure in the love of Christ. When our friendships are based on these things, we can experience a relationship that is unparalleled.
What this means is that we must keep our eyes focused on Him at all times. He must be the heart of our relationships with not just our friends but our spouses too. When we keep our focus on Him and not ourselves, it becomes easier to love, forgive and trust those people who are so close to us.
Scripture says that two are better than one and God blesses our relationships when we work together to serve and love each other and in it He is glorified. People who isolate themselves only make life harder because they miss out on the immeasurable advantage of other people’s wisdom and experiences. God did not intend for us to have to figure things out for ourselves and desires for us to be in relationships in which we can come together to help one another deal with whatever this life offers. It doesn’t mean we will always agree and it doesn’t mean that the sparks won’t fly at times but when we “sharpen” (Proverbs 27:17) one another through the process of sharing our differences and wisdom we are able to make better decisions and be an encouragement to one another.
I love how the above passage of scripture ends. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” That verse says it all. It’s hard to break apart a relationship that is intertwined with God.
Written by Nicole
Faith Renewed 