Priorities

“A Woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”

I’ve always thought that was a powerful statement. That in order for any man to find a woman that he should have to seek out God before he can find her. It’s one of those things that I can’t express loud enough to my single friends and daughters. But as incredible as that statement is, it shouldn’t stop there.

It’s easy to see that statement and think about what it looks like before we get married. That in order to find the man we’re supposed to marry that our walk with Jesus should be solid. And it should be. But we married women need that reminder too because that statement should follow us throughout the entirety of our lives. Even once we are married. Because once we’re married we shouldn’t give up on our pursuit of God. He should still be our number one priority. We should be so in love with God that it draws our husbands to Him. We should be so in love with Jesus and spending time with Him that our husbands can’t find us unless they’re sitting with Him too.

It’s easy in marriage to become cynical. It’s even easier to become bitter and resentful after years of unmet expectations and disappointments. It’s easy to cling to hurt and focus on what we don’t have. We women are amazing at doing that! But when we focus on our Creator those things sort of wash away as we take our eyes off our circumstances and look at the One who gave us our spouse to begin with. We can’t go wrong when we’re focused on the right things. Our heart won’t grow cold when our heart is full of love for our Creator.

If you’re struggling in your marriage today, if the love you once shared has run cold and you’re just ready to give up…don’t look in any other direction but up. Go to the source, the One who brought you together to begin with. Focus on God’s love for you and allow Him to place His hand upon your heart and as His love fills you up it will pour out of you and into your spouse. Because the more we pursue God, the more our love and affection for Him trumps all others and the more things in our life will start to make sense leaving us more fulfilled and content.

Those are big words and big steps to take if you haven’t already been living that way. Trust me. I know. It has taken a lot of painstakingly new habits and daily reminders to focus on the things above as a way to remind me to turn my eyes in the direction of the cross. But on the days that I remember to do those things life is different. My day is different. My attitude is different. My heart is different. My reactions are different. The way I love is different.

When we pursue Jesus with all of our heart and allow the Spirit to move within us…everything changes. So be that woman. Be that woman that chases after God so hard that the only way her husband will ever find her is through his own pursuit of God.

The Sideline Shuffle

I came home from work a few months ago to find this little guy in front of our house.  As I walked up, his tiny head turned, and we locked eyes. The second I saw him, my heart hurt. It felt like it was 110 degrees out and the sun was beating down on his little body. I had no idea where he came from. No nest in sight, panic washed over me. Tears filled my eyes. My mama heart took over.

Yes. Yes. I know. It is a bird. But all I could see was this helpless little creature who looked lost and scared.  As I shifted my position to look at him closer, his eyes followed me.  He didn’t look scared.  It is like he wanted me to rescue him. Wherever I moved, his little neck turned. I knew he was young. He still had those sweet soft fluffy feathers. I wondered if he was hungry. I’m sure he was thirsty. I didn’t know what to do. But I knew I couldn’t leave him there.

At this point my husband had joined me to see what I had found. He too looked for a nest of some sort but saw nothing. It was landscaping day so I knew the guys had been through the area with the leaf blower and might have quite possibly blown this little guy right out of his nest.

We decided to walk into the house and watch from the front door to see what might happen next.  And when we moved, he moved. He hopped his little body right toward the front door.  His little mouth was open wide as he began to cry.  I thought I was going to burst into tears. The mama in me couldn’t stand it.

At this point, my husband had begun googling what to do with a lost baby bird and he discovered we had come across a fledgling. This was a not a baby bird in distress, but instead one that was learning its way. The article my husband found suggested that the mother was most likely close by watching her young one, making sure it was okay. But she did so from a distance. I was fascinated. I watched longer as he began to hop and attempt to flap his tiny little wings all while crying out for help.  

As he hopped, he headed for the direction of the bushes and this time when he flapped his wings, he gained a bit of air and landed himself on a branch in the bush. Finally, I felt better and was able to give him the room he needed to do his thing.

Over the course of the last week, I have thought quite a bit about that little fledgling.  How much my heart hurt watching this little bird try to figure out its next move and not knowing what waited ahead for it. It made me think about my children.

Watching your kid struggle is never an easy thing. Especially if they have placed people in their life who add to their struggle.

Four of my five children are adults. They don’t need mom anymore to prepare their meals or do their laundry or keep them safe.  They are on their own and much like that fledging, they are navigating the world around them as I sit in the background and watch from a distance.  I don’t get to pick what they eat, who they choose to allow into their lives or what activities they participate in.  Instead, I watch. I attempt now and again to offer advice or direction when asked, but I know, the only way they will truly figure things out is to let them make mistakes and live out the consequences of those mistakes.

Parenting is hard. But as parents we must know when to let go and allow them to navigate their journey.  And as badly as we want to intervene and overstep, we can’t. Taking a seat on the sidelines and doing what I like to call the Sideline Shuffle all while letting them find their way is the most selfless and loving action we can take. Even when it’s hard.

About 18 years ago, my youngest son became very ill while we were on vacation. He had a very high fever and his breathing had become labored. We found our way to the nearest urgent care where we were told we needed to get him to a hospital.  As I sat in the back seat with my less than a year-old baby, I held him close.  The entire way I prayed.  I thanked God for allowing me to be his mom and that no matter what happened next, I knew my child belonged to God and that He loved my child far more than I could comprehend. I knew God’s plans were greater than my own and that He was in control.  I trusted Him.  But at the same time, I was afraid of what might happen to my little one.  But God.

As parents, we must recognize that our children do not belong to us.  They are His.  He gives them to us for such a short time and our mission is to point them towards truth and to Jesus. To teach them Who should be first in their life. To encourage them to turn from the things of the world that would distract them from following Jesus. To not encourage them to worship idols or material things. We have only been given a few short years before we must push them out of the nest and let them learn to fly. 

Over the last few weeks, I have been able to share this story with a few of my friends who have littles still at home. The wonder and fear that fills their eyes when I say, “those babies don’t belong to you” always makes me smile just a little bit. The moment that realization sinks in becomes a moment that will forever change your perspective and parenting strategy and will forever change the course of not only how you see your children, but the way in which you see your Abba Daddy!

Pushing them out of that nest is a scary move but sending them on their way without Jesus is far scarier. Be confident!  God has them and He loves them!  He’s watching and waiting to catch them! And His love and His provision for their lives is far more than anything we can ever give!

Last Resort

“He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace and be healed of your disease.”

Mark 5:34

Desperation leads to Despair.

What things have to happen before we finally find ourselves turning to Jesus?

When Jesus walked the earth, we saw countless stories about those who turned to Him with their struggles. Most often, they had exhausted all other resources and He became the last resort. They had heard His name and word had spread that He performed miracles, so it was worth a shot to find Him.

The story of the women who bled for 12 years is one on my most favorite stories in the bible.  It is an incredibly short story, but it is packed full of so much goodness and promise.

This woman, who found herself at the feet of Jesus, had tried everything to heal her condition of bleeding that had lasted for twelve long years. Twelve years of balancing the tight rope of hope that this next medicine or treatment would work to heal her condition which would only lead to having her hope shattered. But now she finds herself pushing her way through the crowd of people gathered to get to Jesus. With hope of being healed, she finds herself at the feet of Jesus where she touches his robe, and she’s instantly healed.

But her healing does not go unnoticed by Jesus, “perceiving in himself that power had gone out from him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched my garments?” And in that moment, the woman “came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth.”

This woman did not know that on that day she would have this powerful encounter with the living Son of God. She knew she wanted physical healing of this affliction, but she did not know that with this healing would also come a spiritual healing and salvation. But Jesus. 

In that moment, He wanted her to own her actions and to share the news with those around her of what had taken place within her body and so He asks, in a crowd of people, “who touch my garment?”. Though she was afraid and most likely expected punishment, she fell before Him and she spoke the whole truth. And in that moment, without judgment, Jesus looked her in the eyes and called her “Daughter.” No condemnation. No punishment. No mistreatment of her with unkindness. Instead, Jesus calls her daughter and tells her that her faith in Him has made her well.

This woman came for healing and though she received it, she also found peace in the security of Jesus. God’s power of love and mercy took away her illness and that illness was replaced with God’s love, His mercy, His compassion, and His peace.

Where in your life do you find yourself exhausted from all that has gone wrong, looking for relief in all the wrong places?  How many times has Jesus been your last resort?

Today, I want to encourage you to take a moment to think through the times He has been your last resort.  Ask yourself why and then throw yourself at His feet. Reach out and grab his robe. Trust that He is loving and merciful and will turn to you with compassion and love. Be confident in knowing that He will look you in the eye and call you daughter and that He will take away the pain and heal your broken heart in more ways than you could ever dream or imagine.

2 Week Notice

One of the hardest concepts for me as a spouse and parent is fighting the temptations of this world to do life (marriage and parenting) the world’s way. I struggle to embrace truth at times because the world is often offended by God’s design and the people pleaser in me wants to make those around me happy. Sadly, I oftentimes do go the way of pleasing others at the expense of being obedient to what I know Truth to be.

Between movies, tv programs and books, the world spends countless amounts of time attempting to paint a picture for us as to what marriage, parenting and family should look like. A portrait that most of the time is far from the way in which God designed any of it to be. The Bible paints a much different picture than the world and throughout my 27 years of married life and 24 years of parenting, I have learned that following God’s design instead of my own or the world’s leads to blessings and joy that this world has yet to offer me.

A few years ago, I listened to a sermon titled Time’s Up (The Summit Church, JD Greear, 11/10/19). I decided I needed the reminder and listened to it again. As the sermon began, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect but it hit the nail on the head for me and where God is trying to take me as a spouse and parent.

I have spent years praying and asking God to reveal Himself to my children the way in which He has revealed Himself to me throughout the years. I want them to know Him the way I do. To experience the joy of walking in His way and living life by His design instead of what the world would offer. To live the “best life”, a life experiencing the goodness and faithfulness of God and not the life (plan) I want or think they should live. God has purposely designed each of them for a part of His story and I desperately want them to know the joy that comes from walking with Him.

As we listened to the sermon yesterday the pastor talked about a conversation that took place between himself and his mom when he decided to have a conversation with her about what God was doing in his life when he was in college. It was a conversation he was nervous to have because he was afraid she would be disappointed in him.

He began by saying, “Mom, I know this is probably really disappointing. I know you must have had this vision of me living close, making a comfortable living, and raising your grandkids in a place where you could see them every day. But I feel like God wants me to go live overseas where people don’t know about Jesus.”

And here was his mom’s response, “J.D., your father and I have been praying for God’s will for you your whole life. And if this is how God wants to use your life, we won’t stand in your way. There’s nothing that would make us prouder than knowing you gave your life back to God for his service. We’ll have all eternity to enjoy the blessings of our family,” she said. “So, if we miss out on some of them down here, that’s ok. We’ll have all eternity for that. We’ve only got a few years to ensure that people’s sons and daughters around the world have a chance to be included in our family.”

Only one life to live… That’s the legacy JD Greear was given by his parents. And he said it was greater than anything else they could have given to him. THAT is the legacy that I want to give to my children! That is who I want to be for them. I want them to know that the eternal destination of those around them are far more important than anything else. That following Jesus and sharing Him with the world is by far, more significant than a full table on Thanksgiving.

JD Greear followed up his story with this: “So, one simple question for you: What legacy are you leaving? What kingdom are you leveraging your resources for?” He said, “You see, there is one thing we CAN’T do there (eternity in heaven) that we can do here: tell people about Jesus.”

That is the message I want my children and the children I love as my own to hear. That is my heart for them. I LOVE being a wife. I LOVE being a mom. But both for me are completely worthless if both of these titles are all about me and my happiness. I want to leave this earth knowing that my husband and children know/knew that following Jesus and leading others to follow Him were the MOST important things.

As JD Greear said in his message, we have all been given a two weeks notice. The death rate is 100%. We never know when our last day will be so we must live as if that day is today.

Our notice has been given. What are we going to do with it? “In that last day, when Jesus returns, the ONLY thing that will matter is whether we were a faithful steward and used our resources for His purpose.”

#OnlyOneLifeToLive

Quieter

The ongoing script pushed by those continuing to sensationalize a false narrative, is that of misinformation and confusion that the church/believers only care about “winning” the SCOTUS decision and/or only care about the birth/life of a child.

I’m pretty certain I can say this regarding the churches I have previously attended, that the sanctity of life is regularly taught and fought for and that those same churches have taken action to help those in crisis. That single moms have been welcomed and those in financial need have been helped and cared for. This I know personally as I have been taken care of in this way by the churches I have attended. The churches I have attended have supported and participated in helping the local crisis pregnancy centers. Foster care and adoption highly are encouraged, supported and an active ministry within the church (and this is most true for the church I currently attend).

All of this to say, believers have not been sitting idly by for the last 50 years just waiting for a change. No. Many have been actively involved in their communities caring for those who needed care. Are you shocked? Maybe surprised? Of course, you are. Because this isn’t the narrative being spun by the media or those pushing a certain agenda. Like every other hot button topic out there, misinformation is shared, and hatred spread thus creating further division through propaganda and scandal. Sadly, this country falls for it each time it happens. Whether it’s Covid, a shot or now this, we play into the hands of those wanting to divide and conquer. Instead of taking a minute and sitting with a fellow human to truly share in real conversation, we feed into the chaos. The chaos created as a way to further push the real agenda of power, control and money.

Once again I am praying that the bickering, arguing, insults, threats and demeaning stop. That we learn to listen and to see one another as human beings worthy of love and respect. That regardless of your stance, it is just that, your stance and a choice made as an individual whether that involves, Covid, same sex marriage, abortion, religion, you name it. To remember that an individual’s beliefs or opinions have never been swayed by a lack of compassion or by abusive and bullying behavior.

For those who label themselves as a believer or follower of Jesus, the belief’s we hold are based on the Truth of scripture and those Truth’s do not change. However, as I’ve mentioned in another post, an individuals’ beliefs about Truth are determined by one’s personal relationship with the Holy Spirit and each relationship is different so we aren’t always going to land on the same truth.

We need to remember, right and wrong/good and evil still exist and even when the world tries to teach something differently, we must hold to the Truth of God’s word. His word has always called for action not just word.  So, we can share our thoughts on these topics but we need to move! Act! Go, Do and BE to those who do not know Him! We are the hands and feet and though we can speak the Truth, the world is changed when words are put into action.

This world desperately needs Jesus, but they aren’t going to find Him through the hateful or demeaning words on social media or picket signs. We should look and act differently than the world and that cannot happen if we are conformed to its image.

We must remember that the posts, the protests, and the hatred being spread, does not and will not change the Truth of scripture and God’s sovereignty.  We also need to remember that none of this is a battle that we need to win because it has already been won. We know He had the victory and that one day, every single knee will bow, and tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord! So, rejoice in knowing these things! Pray that eyes will continue to be opened to truth, and pray for true repentance in our country. 

In the end, remember to be strong and courageous! We need to love and respect one another! To stand in strength, in love, in humility, in hope, and in joy! One day, these things will pass away and will be made new through Him!

Painted Fences

Words matter. What I might think or call good/beneficial, might be different than what someone else thinks or sees as good. What I believe as bad/sinful may not be bad to another. The banter and disagreements over sensitive topics that many people feel differently yet passionately about is overwhelming. Perspectives based on things such as life experience, spiritual/faith beliefs, or just our own pride, help to shape the way we view the world.

But at the end of the day, we each have the right to decide for ourselves (not everyone else) what our individual belief system will involve. What we in our home may see as good or sinful, may not be how it is seen by others. It does not make you wrong and me right. Instead, it just puts us on opposite sides of the same fence. I may paint my side of the fence blue, while you paint your side red. We’re looking at the same fence just different colors. I’m not going to argue with you to paint your side blue. Even though it is the better color 😉 No. You are free to choose. But your choice will not impact my belief in what I consider as the more beautiful color.

A lot of the issues we see being thrown around are being stirred up by those who do not like that not everyone agrees with their choices, their lifestyle, their attitudes, or words. They want others to agree or be okay with what they are doing or saying or believing. They don’t like thinking that there are people who view certain actions as “evil” or “bad”. So, those who believe their way of thinking is the only way, will then put down and demean anyone who crosses their path and doesn’t agree. It’s interesting to me because many years ago, I was in counseling and listened as the counselor told the other party sitting in the room that they were a smooth-talking person who would take down any individual so as to accomplish their agenda. I often think of that day in counseling as I see this type of personality played out on social media as those individuals work to force their agenda on others no matter the cost.  Anything to accomplish the agenda of painting the fence the color they deem as the correct color. If you are someone who must demean another to get your point across, then maybe there is something not quite upstanding about the statement you are trying to make. What we believe is our personal choice and right but how we display and share that belief should be done with kindness and respect if shared or displayed at all.

Another thought to consider. For those who are called believers or profess to follow Jesus, beliefs and convictions come differently. We start with Jesus. Often in debates, people will bring Him into the argument by saying He has room at the table for everyone. Agreed. I believe He does. But I also know that He turned over the tables in the temple when people did wrong. He didn’t invite them to sit and share a drink. I am then reminded of the woman caught in adultery. He didn’t tell her she was loved and to then go live a happy life. No. He told her to go and sin no more. He accepted her but with a condition. In saying, “Go and sin no more,” He was not speaking of sinless perfection, but he was warning against a return to sinful lifestyle choices. The words He spoke extended mercy yet demanded holiness. He is the perfect balance of “grace and truth”. With His forgiveness comes the expectation that we will not continue in the same path of disobedience and for those who know God’s love, obedience will be the natural course of action. (John 14:15). Unfortunately, that is not the gospel being taught nowadays. It appears instead, we have a teaching that says, “you can sin as you like because God loves you. There are no consequences for sin because love is all we need.” For me, I cannot ascribe to this particular teaching because it goes against what I believe to be true about the bible and the sacrifice Jesus made. But that is between me, and the conviction placed on my heart by the Holy Spirit. That comes from the personal relationship I have with the Holy Spirit and the truths that He reveals to me as part of that relationship. Only He can change that belief in me. Not the arguments of others. Not the put downs. Not the threats or accusations. Only His work in my life will move me to change the paint on my side of the fence should it need changing. That is why beliefs and convictions are different for believers. We each are at a different stage in our walk with the Spirit which means we may not all be on the same page. So, we need to recognize and acknowledge we all are different and act in kindness.  In addition, this world is made up of 7.753 billion people. We are never all going to agree. So that leaves me to ask that you please respect my beliefs as I respect yours. You do not have to agree with what I believe or do, just I as do not have to agree with what you believe or do. We have the right to our individuality. However, though we may differ in those things, I will still choose to love you. Support you. Encourage you. Pray for you. Be your biggest cheerleader. And I can do all those things because you are a human being worthy of respect and love! And that is love!

Empty

Abusers, Bullies, Narcissists, whichever label you choose, we are learning more about them each day and the way in which they affect society. They are individuals who ridicule and demean, amongst other things, those who do not see the world exactly as they do. They treat those that do not walk the line the way in which they see fit as lesser individuals than themselves. They tell those with beliefs and opinions that do not align with their own that “this is the way it is and if you do not see it my way then ____________”. You fill in the blank.

Please understand, should you encounter an individual with this type of attitude and displaying a form of superiority, it is best to just walk away. The words they speak, the thoughts they share are not worth entertaining.

Human beings respect one another and display kindness and compassion regardless of whether they share the same opinions, ideas, or beliefs.  Do not allow the toxicity that slips from the lips of these individuals to infect your heart, mind, and soul. I know that is a hard thing to do, especially when you have a gentle heart, but rest assured, it is in the best interest of everyone to turn away from such things.

Those who speak to others in an abusive manner have lost the right to be heard. So, when you encounter those without kindness, compassion and/or empathy, it is your choice whether to allow them to “pass through” the boundaries you set.

You are valuable. Your thoughts, words and beliefs have purpose and are important. No one has the right to tell you who you are and what you should believe or support. Don’t ever forget that!

Imagine the world if we stopped showing attention to those who cannot engage in a human way?

“Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!“

Romans 12:14-16

Burnt Bridges

Advocacy will always be part of who I am. Even if it means burning bridges. And I’ve burnt bridges.

We were never meant to be everyone’s best friend. We were definitely not meant to be in agreement with everyone.

You have to know your truth and stand up for that truth. Even when it is painful.

Today’s world has become a place where you are only allowed to believe one way and if you do not jump on that bandwagon, YOU are the issue. Well that is not true and it has taken me such a long time to understand that I do have the right to stand up for myself.

Don’t let the bullies of this world prevent you from voicing those things that are important to you. We all have a voice and something to share. So speak up! And know that no matter what, even if our beliefs differ, I’ll be there loving you, treating you like the human being that you are and supporting you!

Peace over Pride

Being that this world is shouting at me how I should think, believe and live, I took the time to sort through all the noise and reflect on my own beliefs. This is what I discovered.

In a world that celebrates pride and uses the rainbow as a way to promote that pride, a symbol given as a reminder of God’s protection, His faithfulness, and a sign of the covenant between God and man, I cannot and will not celebrate pride or any other sin that cost the life of Jesus. I cannot celebrate something that ultimately leads to destruction. Someone said, “by God’s grace, I strive in the Spirit’s power to put my pride to death and one day, my God will put a full and final end to any pride which remains in me.”  Until that day when I see Him face to face, pride will be an ongoing sin I struggle to overcome but not one I will celebrate.

Believers are told in Deuteronomy 6:5 to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” This truth is so important that it was repeated by Jesus (Matthew 22:37). We cannot be focused on pride or sin or the things of this world and truly love God. He should be the priority! Joby Martin explains it like this when he says, “when Jesus is preeminent, when He is before all things, He doesn’t make top of the list. He is the paper on which you write the list so that everything in your world points to Him and Him alone!”  That’s the life I want to live and reflect. A life not based on a religion or a doctrine but a life reflective of an intimate relationship with Jesus. A life surrendered to the Holy Spirit that brings life and peace. A life that demonstrates a love for Him that is so great, that there is no need to fill a void in my life with worldly desires or sin. I know I will never be that person completely on this side of heaven because of my sinful nature, but I will, to the best of my ability, run this race as I have been called while pointing those around me to the true prize, a personal relationship with Jesus and to the Truth of His Word and His Grace.

In our home, we will choose to celebrate His grace, His Truth and His love because it is His grace, His Truth and His love that will win in the end! Today I am thankful for a God who is faithful to His promises and who gave the life of His Son for me. His love is the greatest love I know and the only love I need.

He is the paper on which you write the list so that everything in your world points to Him and Him alone!

Tweet

““He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree” (1 Peter 2:24). “He was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities” (Isaiah 53:5). Therefore, “in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses” (Ephesians 1:7). “Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins” (Acts 10:43). The cross of Christ declares my depravity, and delivers me from it. The Christian heart is a broken and forgiven heart.

But something else happened when Jesus died. All his people died with him. When we are united to Christ by faith, his death becomes not only the punishment of our sins, but also the death of our sinful nature. Our old, rebellious, selfish, arrogant nature dies. “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11).

A new creation comes into being. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24). Being loved by Christ with self-sacrificing love, and dying to our old selfish nature, shapes us into the image of our heavenly Father: “Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:1–2).

A new way of disapproving of sin is built into being forgiven, dying to our old nature, and being recreated in Christ. Christians do not stop disapproving of what will destroy people (sin). They start desiring the good of self-destroyers (sinners). Forgiven Christians want others to join them in being forgiven. Hope-filled Christians want others to join them in the hope of glory. Christians rescued at the cost of Christ’s life are willing to sacrifice for the sake of rescuing others.

This includes all others. Our crucified Savior said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27–28). The apostle Paul said, “As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone” (Galatians 6:10). “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

This love for all others is rooted in, and formed by, the sacrifice of Christ. His sacrificial servant-heart forms ours. Paul put it like this:

In humility count others more significant than yourselves. . . . Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant . . . to the point of death. (Philippians 2:3–8)

Counting others more significant than ourselves does not mean approving of what they feel or do. It means becoming a servant of their forgiveness, their rescue, their Christ-exalting hope. Christians do not bear ill will toward any. We live for the good of all.”

-John Piper

Proverbs 11:2

Proverbs 8:13

Proverbs 29:23

1 John 2:16

Romans 8:5-8

Do-Over

Liberty, not legalism, is what the Lord Jesus Christ offers. Freedom, not bondage. Relationship, not religion. We give up nothing for which Jesus will not abundantly offer more than we could ever hope or dream.

-Adrian Rogers

Not often in life are we given a do-over.  A second chance to get it right. When we do experience a second chance, it is definitely a beautiful blessing. 

I have been pondering that thought for some time now. How exactly does the idea of a second chance fair in the minds of those who follow a religion instead of Jesus.  What does that look like?

Back when my marriage woes became obvious, and my future included divorce, I repeatedly heard I would no longer be in God’s care or under His blessing.  It was typically followed up with that verse found in the Old Testament that says,

“For I, the God of Israel, hate divorce!” I, the Commander of heavenly armies, despise it when people wrap themselves in violence like a garment.  So guard yourselves: be true to your wife and not unfaithful. 

Malachi 2:16

The way in which some use God’s word to manipulate others is frustrating at best. As one who was manipulated, I remember being terrified at the notion and thinking that this predicament I found myself in was not one that I chose or wanted.  Divorce was the last thing I had imagined for my family.  Would God truly “kick me to the curb” because I was divorced?  Would He seriously abandon me in my darkest days?

Oh, the joys of legalism and the way it leads people astray.  For some, this kind of teaching could lead them straight down a path away from God.  Honestly, it led to doubt in my own mind and I withdrew myself from God and the church all together for a short time.  However, God proved them all wrong.

This next bit serves only as my two cents and comes only from my own experience of walking the path of divorce and walking it with God by my side.

In my opinion, there is no doubt God hates divorce.  I am confident He hates what it does to the people involved.  The heartache, the destruction, the negative picture it paints of His love and grace and everything else horrific that follows.  For me, it was the worst experience I have ever faced in my entire life and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.  Ever!  However, no matter what “religious” men say, God does not turn away His children and stop blessing them.  Instead that “God stops blessing you” statement just serves as another lie told by religious men/women to manipulate the scared and hurting.  

The more I think about it, the more I am confident that God hates divorce because there is no way He wants any of His children to endure the pain that it includes. Especially the loneliness. And He surely doesn’t want us walking alone.  I believe He hates divorce, however He does not hate the person struggling through divorce.

With that being said, divorce happens.  Whether we choose it or not, it happens.  For me, I did not file the paperwork and did not ask for it to be processed, yet happened.

Does that mean God no longer wants me and will no longer use me? According to some, the answer is yes. According to God, a gigantic resounding no! Nothing can separate a child of God from the love of God. 

But no matter what comes, we will always taste victory through Him who loved us.  For I have every confidence that nothing- not death, life, heavenly messengers, dark spirits, the present, the future, spiritual powers, height, depth, nor any created thing-can come between us and the love of God revealed in the Anointed, Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

Now being one who can usually appreciate the good and bad in life, my divorce allows me to say that though horrific, it served as one of the best things that ever happened to me.   I understand that may sound crazy.  You’re probably thinking this chick has fallen off her rocker, especially if you witnessed any of what took place over the last few years. But in all seriousness, it’s true.

The heartache and pain of my divorce left me with more than I could have ever dreamed possible!  Divorce caused me to search after God.  To run after Him in total surrender which brought me to a new place in Christ.  The heartache and pain brought me to a place where I finally understood His grace and His love for me and it taught me the difference between religion and relationship. Even more, it taught me faith and trust in the One who holds my entire world in His hands. 

Just because divorce entered my life, God did not leave me.  Not once. In fact, I felt His remarkable added presence during that time.  He never left my side.  Yes, there were plenty of dark and painful days, but His comfort and strength flooded my life! Because of Him, I made it through the darkest season.  But only because of Him!

I have countless regrets in my life.  A LOT! We all have regrets.  If given the opportunity, many choices in life would be done differently.  Unfortunately, certain choices just can’t be undone. Thankfully, because of Christ and His work on the cross we receive a second chance.   We can have a fresh beginning.  We can have more than we ever dreamed possible! Like abundant joy and a love relationship with the Creator of the Universe just to name a few!