Over the years, life has been full of many disappointments and lost dreams with what often has felt like little promise of a turnaround.

If I’m being completely honest, had God given me the insight at 19 of what my journey might have looked like, I’m certain I would have done many things differently. Had I held the foreknowledge of the events that would transpire over the course of my life, I think I might have run the other way from many of the choices I made when I was younger. Yes, those words might sound harsh, but it is in the reality and harshness of life where we find our greatest blessings.

We were never promised an easy road, and I won’t pretend that life is without disappointments and pain. I’ve learned that to share my story and who God is in my story, all the parts; the good, the bad and the ugly should be shared so others can be encouraged and find the hope that can only be found in Jesus. So, the stark reality is this; life isn’t butterflies and roses. When we choose to follow Jesus, we are not handed a “get out of jail free” card and knowing that truth, we need to be there to support, encourage and remind one another of what stands on the other side of our doubts and fears. That there is hope in the but God moments.

But God. He is so good to remind us of where hard roads can take us. For me, He reminds me through the amazing gift of my 5 amazing kids. These five came from a situation I would have never chosen for myself all those years ago had I known the destruction and chaos that would evolve out of many years of dishonesty. However, God uses and continues to use those amazing kids of mine to constantly remind me of His ability to take the ugliest and most painful experiences and turn them into tapestries of beauty that far exceed anything I could create or even imagine on my own (Ephesians 3:20).

His reminders and provisions give me the tenacity to hold on to the unknown because of the confidence I can have in knowing what He’s capable of creating and doing in my life. I’m reminded that this story, my story isn’t finished and that there are many more chapters to be written. And with confidence I can expect that once this season, this chapter, concludes I will once again stand amazed at the way God works in all things when we trust and love Him.

I am aware that the words I have written may sound absurd to many who have made it this far in this post, but the truth is that God can use our most painful situations and turn them into great moments of joy and thankfulness. That as He continues working in our lives, we can discoverer a peace and faith that will transform our lives. Rest assured there will be pain and disappointment, but we can rest in knowing the truth of who He is.

Knowing all I’ve written to be true from my own experiences, I will encourage you to choose to hang on longer and to trust Him more fully. I encourage you to stand guard and be aware of the attacks of the enemy whose plan is to discourage you from trusting and remembering the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Life didn’t turn out the way I would have planned for myself as may be the same for many of you reading, but up to this point, I still wouldn’t choose for things to be any different. God has most definitely blessed me with way more than I could have ever hoped for myself and moved in ways I could have never imagined. So, until this season passes, I will find comfort in knowing that He is faithful and that He will move in mighty ways again! Will you choose the same?

Everything or Nothing

Christianity is free, but it will cost you your entire life. Nobody ever changed the world by living safe.

-Banning Liebscher

Scroll social media and you’ll see post after post about what people think is wrong with the world today. People pointing fingers and blaming people, things, ideas for all that is wrong with the world.  But at the end of the day, this world is the way it is because of sin. Because we all are sinners. Sinners who came into this world full of selfishness and pride.  We weren’t trained to be this way. We were born this way. We were created with the ability to think for ourselves, make decisions for ourselves and do those things we want to do in order to get what we want. No one had to teach us how to live or think that way.

God created us with free will and a whole lot of responsibility to live out our lives but most live a selfish life. Lives focused on self and sin. We want what we want, sin and all, and when we don’t get it, we throw a fit and blame the world around us.

This world is headed for disaster. It is headed for disaster because people have turned away from God. People are choosing sin. People are focused on self, pleasure, and gratification. And we were NOT created for those things.

We were created for a greater purpose. We were created to do great things! We were created for God. We were created to glorify God in all we say and do.

Glorifying God with our lives means giving up everything.  It means total surrender.  To give up our lives means it will literally cost everything. EVERYTHING. But giving up everything means that in return you receive His grace, His love, His forgiveness, an eternity spent with Him and so much more. So much more than you could ever hope or imagine. But free will allows us to choose our own story and own way. But in the end, if that is the choice you make, you will most definitely end up with nothing.

The next time you see another news article blaming some other issue as being the reason the world is falling apart, take a minute, take a breath and pray.  Ask that God would open your eyes to see this world as He sees it and then ask Him to show you the part you play in His story. Ask Him for a heart that sees, loves and speaks His truth and not the “truth” that this world wants us to follow. And be willing to give it all away for something greater!

“That is why He warned people to “count the cost” before becoming Christians. “Make no mistake,” He
says, “if you let me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what
you are in for. Nothing less, or other, than that. You have free will, and if you choose, you can push
Me away.

But if you do not push Me away, understand that I am going to see this job through. Whatever
suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after
death, whatever it costs Me, I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect—until my
Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased
with me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less.”

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Hidden Treasure

Matthew and I love to wander through the used bookstore.  There used to be one minutes from our house, but it shut down a few years ago and now the only other location is about thirty minutes away which we visit occasionally.  We can always find some kind of hidden treasure within the shelves whenever we go and this last visit was no exception. I’m quite certain we might have just found a real treasure 😊

I have read through a lot of little devotional books over the years. You know those daily ones that take about 3 minutes to read and give you a bit of encouragement to get through the day. They are delightful but typically do have a lot of meat to them.  I haven’t bought one in a really long time for that reason. But on this last visit to our little bookstore, I stumbled across two books: 40 Days of Faith and 40 Days of Grace by Paul David Tripp.  There were two brand new copies of both on the shelf so I grabbed them both and thought why not. 

Last week, I started reading. The daily reading is simple and short but the depth of what is found inside has been truly profound.  I started with the 40 Days of Faith. Mainly because I know that is where my heart is most troubled and needs the most work.  My prayer for the last few years has been, “I believe. Help my unbelief” and it has been a process to say the least.

Day 1 in this little book didn’t hold back and packed a punch right to the gut. One I really needed and it started with these simple words:

It is vital to know that faith is not just an action of your brain; it’s an investment of your life. Faith is not just something you think: it’s something you live.

Here’s the thing. That isn’t some profound truth/statement that I’ve never heard before. However, it is a truth/statement made in a way that I haven’t thought about before.  And each day since has been filled with the same great insight, just like the first. I’m left convicted, encouraged and excited each day about what could be ahead.  The possibilities that could be in front of me. The movement that could take place if I would just trust and have the faith I once held to so dearly to let go and believe. 

I am still a work in progress.  A person with a lot of trust issues still working through all those issues. But I don’t believe for a second that this random little book fell in my lap. I DO believe that God cares enough about me and loves me more than I realize to put that book in just the right place so that He can do that work of answering my prayer of helping my unbelief 😉


The ongoing script pushed by those continuing to sensationalize a false narrative, is that of misinformation and confusion that the church/believers only care about “winning” the SCOTUS decision and/or only care about the birth/life of a child.

I’m pretty certain I can say this regarding the churches I have previously attended, that the sanctity of life is regularly taught and fought for and that those same churches have taken action to help those in crisis. That single moms have been welcomed and those in financial need have been helped and cared for. This I know personally as I have been taken care of in this way by the churches I have attended. The churches I have attended have supported and participated in helping the local crisis pregnancy centers. Foster care and adoption highly are encouraged, supported and an active ministry within the church (and this is most true for the church I currently attend).

All of this to say, believers have not been sitting idly by for the last 50 years just waiting for a change. No. Many have been actively involved in their communities caring for those who needed care. Are you shocked? Maybe surprised? Of course, you are. Because this isn’t the narrative being spun by the media or those pushing a certain agenda. Like every other hot button topic out there, misinformation is shared, and hatred spread thus creating further division through propaganda and scandal. Sadly, this country falls for it each time it happens. Whether it’s Covid, a shot or now this, we play into the hands of those wanting to divide and conquer. Instead of taking a minute and sitting with a fellow human to truly share in real conversation, we feed into the chaos. The chaos created as a way to further push the real agenda of power, control and money.

Once again I am praying that the bickering, arguing, insults, threats and demeaning stop. That we learn to listen and to see one another as human beings worthy of love and respect. That regardless of your stance, it is just that, your stance and a choice made as an individual whether that involves, Covid, same sex marriage, abortion, religion, you name it. To remember that an individual’s beliefs or opinions have never been swayed by a lack of compassion or by abusive and bullying behavior.

For those who label themselves as a believer or follower of Jesus, the belief’s we hold are based on the Truth of scripture and those Truth’s do not change. However, as I’ve mentioned in another post, an individuals’ beliefs about Truth are determined by one’s personal relationship with the Holy Spirit and each relationship is different so we aren’t always going to land on the same truth.

We need to remember, right and wrong/good and evil still exist and even when the world tries to teach something differently, we must hold to the Truth of God’s word. His word has always called for action not just word.  So, we can share our thoughts on these topics but we need to move! Act! Go, Do and BE to those who do not know Him! We are the hands and feet and though we can speak the Truth, the world is changed when words are put into action.

This world desperately needs Jesus, but they aren’t going to find Him through the hateful or demeaning words on social media or picket signs. We should look and act differently than the world and that cannot happen if we are conformed to its image.

We must remember that the posts, the protests, and the hatred being spread, does not and will not change the Truth of scripture and God’s sovereignty.  We also need to remember that none of this is a battle that we need to win because it has already been won. We know He had the victory and that one day, every single knee will bow, and tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord! So, rejoice in knowing these things! Pray that eyes will continue to be opened to truth, and pray for true repentance in our country. 

In the end, remember to be strong and courageous! We need to love and respect one another! To stand in strength, in love, in humility, in hope, and in joy! One day, these things will pass away and will be made new through Him!

Peace over Pride

Being that this world is shouting at me how I should think, believe and live, I took the time to sort through all the noise and reflect on my own beliefs. This is what I discovered.

In a world that celebrates pride and uses the rainbow as a way to promote that pride, a symbol given as a reminder of God’s protection, His faithfulness, and a sign of the covenant between God and man, I cannot and will not celebrate pride or any other sin that cost the life of Jesus. I cannot celebrate something that ultimately leads to destruction. Someone said, “by God’s grace, I strive in the Spirit’s power to put my pride to death and one day, my God will put a full and final end to any pride which remains in me.”  Until that day when I see Him face to face, pride will be an ongoing sin I struggle to overcome but not one I will celebrate.

Believers are told in Deuteronomy 6:5 to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” This truth is so important that it was repeated by Jesus (Matthew 22:37). We cannot be focused on pride or sin or the things of this world and truly love God. He should be the priority! Joby Martin explains it like this when he says, “when Jesus is preeminent, when He is before all things, He doesn’t make top of the list. He is the paper on which you write the list so that everything in your world points to Him and Him alone!”  That’s the life I want to live and reflect. A life not based on a religion or a doctrine but a life reflective of an intimate relationship with Jesus. A life surrendered to the Holy Spirit that brings life and peace. A life that demonstrates a love for Him that is so great, that there is no need to fill a void in my life with worldly desires or sin. I know I will never be that person completely on this side of heaven because of my sinful nature, but I will, to the best of my ability, run this race as I have been called while pointing those around me to the true prize, a personal relationship with Jesus and to the Truth of His Word and His Grace.

In our home, we will choose to celebrate His grace, His Truth and His love because it is His grace, His Truth and His love that will win in the end! Today I am thankful for a God who is faithful to His promises and who gave the life of His Son for me. His love is the greatest love I know and the only love I need.

He is the paper on which you write the list so that everything in your world points to Him and Him alone!

““He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree” (1 Peter 2:24). “He was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities” (Isaiah 53:5). Therefore, “in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses” (Ephesians 1:7). “Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins” (Acts 10:43). The cross of Christ declares my depravity, and delivers me from it. The Christian heart is a broken and forgiven heart.

But something else happened when Jesus died. All his people died with him. When we are united to Christ by faith, his death becomes not only the punishment of our sins, but also the death of our sinful nature. Our old, rebellious, selfish, arrogant nature dies. “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11).

A new creation comes into being. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Therefore, “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24). Being loved by Christ with self-sacrificing love, and dying to our old selfish nature, shapes us into the image of our heavenly Father: “Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:1–2).

A new way of disapproving of sin is built into being forgiven, dying to our old nature, and being recreated in Christ. Christians do not stop disapproving of what will destroy people (sin). They start desiring the good of self-destroyers (sinners). Forgiven Christians want others to join them in being forgiven. Hope-filled Christians want others to join them in the hope of glory. Christians rescued at the cost of Christ’s life are willing to sacrifice for the sake of rescuing others.

This includes all others. Our crucified Savior said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27–28). The apostle Paul said, “As we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone” (Galatians 6:10). “See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:15).

This love for all others is rooted in, and formed by, the sacrifice of Christ. His sacrificial servant-heart forms ours. Paul put it like this:

In humility count others more significant than yourselves. . . . Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant . . . to the point of death. (Philippians 2:3–8)

Counting others more significant than ourselves does not mean approving of what they feel or do. It means becoming a servant of their forgiveness, their rescue, their Christ-exalting hope. Christians do not bear ill will toward any. We live for the good of all.”

-John Piper

Proverbs 11:2

Proverbs 8:13

Proverbs 29:23

1 John 2:16

Romans 8:5-8

From point A to point B: The tightrope effect

tightrope“God’s will is not like a tightrope.”  Those words said by my pastor caught my attention.  No they grabbed my attention.  My eyes and ears focused on him.  The words that followed drew me in and met me right where I needed.


Trying to decipher God’s will has left me confused more times than not.  Bringing God glory is my purpose but is there a plan as well?  A road map I am to follow?  Specific things He wants me to do?  A way in which He wants to use me?  If so, I have screwed it up.   I want nothing more than to bring Him glory.  I crave it with the entirety of my being.  But sometimes, for the life of me, I cannot figure out what it entails.


Looking back over the last five years I have confidence God is going to use my battles for something.  Visions.  I have visions of things to come.  I know that may sound weird or freaky to those who are reading this but I have them. God gives me these small glimpse of something He has for me.  Just enough to keep me focused on the road ahead.  I am restless.  I know He has something out there for me and I am ready to move ahead and do whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, He wants me to do.  But what?  I ask.  I pray.  I continue to wait.


I know waiting.  I have experienced waiting over the last five years.  I know what it means to want something so much you can taste it but having to wait until the perfect moment for it to be yours. That moment when you’re ready to receive it and He places it in your hands. The moment the waiting ends. I’ve been there. So waiting, I get.


Back to God’s will.  Tears flood my eyes as I envision the tight rope.  As I heard those words spoken a humongous weight fell off my shoulders.  There are days when I realize that I am still held prisoner by the chains of legalism.  Too many years spent chained to a religion has made it hard to grasp parts of the Bible. It has made it difficult to understand God.  For me, divorce has left me struggling to walk the tightrope of God’s will and feeling defeated every day.  So the realization that God’s will consists of more than walking “from point A to point B” is overwhelming.  My pastor said God’s will is like a freeway.  There are different lanes, choices along the way. Good and bad choices.  Yes poor choices lead us in the wrong direction but they do not negate us from being in God’s will altogether. Do you understand how freeing that is?


Romans 11:36 says, “For all that exists originates in Him, comes through Him, and is moving toward HIm; so give Him the glory forever. Amen.”  What do I take away from that verse?  I am God’s creation.  He created me for His glory.  My purpose in this life is to bring Him glory through the life I live.  To me, it means that in every choice I make, I need to seek after Him.  Follow HIm. When I have a choice to make, I turn to Him and choosing to follow Him in obedience brings Him glory.  Yes I will fall.  Yes I will make wrong turns.  But He will redirect my steps when I seek and ask for direction.  Was God’s plan for me to end up divorced?  NO.  I am fully aware God’s hand was not in my divorce. However God’s hand was on me as I trudged through the battle and trusted Him throughout everything I experienced.  He was there.  He is still here.  It was through those battles that I recognized His voice for the first time.  Experienced His presence.  It was in the loneliness of being cast aside by friends and family that I found Him.  Though my marriage was ending, my relationship with Jesus did not.  Instead it became more real.  More intimate.  I craved Him because I was desperate to hear His voice and sense His presence and He made Himself known.  Something else my pastor said that I love, “You will never accidentally hear God’s voice.”  That is so true.  In the midst of pain and the darkness of battle, His presence is not an accident.  It is in those moments you are searching for Him.  Searching through scripture, through music looking for Him to give you wisdom and direction and that is when it happens.   It is when you are in the trenches of a fierce battle and become so desperate for His help that you recognize His voice above the noise.You realize that you cannot take another step on your own and you call out to Him and He answers. You fall into His arms.  And you know what?  He catches you.  He catches and grabs a hold of you.  You finally recognize His voice and experience His peace.  The noise of the world falls away and you hear Him call your name.  And you know He has you.  He has your situation and is there.  Everything changes.


Freedom in Christ is something I am experiencing and understanding more and more each day I follow Him.  His grace is enormous. It is more than I can comprehend.  But so is His will for my life.  His plan.  He has given me this life.  He allows me new breath every day. With it,  I am to live a life that aligns with His character which brings Him glory.  My mind is blown.  I am overwhelmed with the idea that my entire life is not ruined (For God’s purpose)  by one wrong turn


So now God I am ready.  I have been restless for so long.  But now  I understand. SO many feelings of unworthiness from not walking the tightrope perfectly.  Thinking I had to DO something to get back into your good graces. So misled by the enemy.  Distracted by so much untruth.  But I get it.  I asked and you answered. Oh how  I crave You.  I crave to live my life for You.  Here I am.  I am ready.  Tell me where to go.

You may be reading this and wondering what in the world?  Where is she going with this post?  If you are, this post isn’t for you.  This post is for those who have been where I have been.  This is for those who have made those wrong turns and been left to feel that God no longer has a place or purpose for you in His plan.  His will is not a tightrope.  He can take those wrong turns, those falls, those horrible choices and restore what has been broken.  Your messed up story is His opportunity to make you shine as His grace covers your broken pieces.  Just ask.

Story revealed


Article first published as Story Revealed on Blogcritics.

So I’ve learned that God definitely works in mysterious ways. He moves in ways we may not always understand or moves in ways we cannot always see.

It is exciting to be part of His story. Having no idea how the story will play out although being fully aware of His movement in your life. All you can do is grasp hold of His hand and allow Him to lead. There can be fear not knowing exactly where you are going. Each step is not always easy and stable. You may even question whether or not it is His hand you’re holding but you choose to follow His steps and trust His guidance in obedience.

In life we experience opposition when obeying God instead of those in our lives. Opposition can leave us doubting what we so strongly hear God telling us to do. We must remain focused.

Now I do not believe that God creates the opposition experienced by His children  (though He does allow it) but instead believe it is created by sin and the schemes of Satan. There are stories throughout the Bible that exemplify choosing to walk by faith instead of sight when facing opposition. David dealt with much opposition from King Saul.

This particular story begins with King Saul ordering the murder of David. I’m pretty certain there is probably not much greater opposition than someone ordering you to be killed especially when those orders are issued by a King.  I’m also pretty certain that murder is a sin meaning Saul was not acting in accordance to God’s will.

David spent much time running and hiding from King Saul until one night he found him unprotected and asleep. David had the perfect opportunity to “take out” Saul but he refused. Instead he chose to trust that God would “take out” Saul in His appointed time. David knew God had a plan and he waited. He did however take Saul’s spear and water jug and later confronted Saul.  During this confrontation, Saul admited to his sin, asks David to return home and assures his safety. What a moment!! Imagine being David and standing before a man who wanted you dead. It was clearly a God ordained moment but a moment used by God to test the heart of David.

Many deal with injustice but what matters is how we choose to responsd. It is our response that reflects the true condition of our heart and whom we serve. Whether opposition comes from an ungodly person or a fellow believer, God will judge all people. Like David we must trust in the Lord that He alone will deliver us from opposition because God is just and WILL enact His justice!!

God’s word promises that He will deal justly with those who treat us unjustly. What a relief especially when we have been beaten and are exhausted. Saul was dealt judgments by God because of disobedience. He lost his kingdom and it was given to David. Israel was defeated by the Philistines the next day and Saul along with his sons died in battle. This great downfall was all a result of his disobedience.

You see as king, Saul was the spiritual leader of his people. (Just as pastors are spiritual leaders of their churches and husbands spiritual leaders of their homes) This means that as king he was accountable in great measure in his example of faith and obedience. Saul obeyed God to a point but selfishly refused to obey God all the way. Saul’s life reflected that of a double minded man. (James 1:8) His life reflected confusion between his faith and fleshly living meaning he held back part of his life from God.

I believe God deals with the unjust. I believe those that have treated me and others unjustly will in fact be dealt justly by God. It is hard to stand back and wait when the world yells fight but as a child of God, revenge is not to be my motivation. Instead we must be motivated by His love in order to walk by faith and do what is right. God’s just is perfect and because we know this, we can be confident when dealing with opposition. By being confident, we are then free to love, forgive and walk by faith.

Dealing with opposition requires strength and courage. When you feel like the world is against you, human nature screams give up but God gives us the strength to survive and endure.

When God is for us, who could ever stand against us? (Romans 8:31) When the world comes against us, Christ Jesus, the God of the universe is for us!!

Remember that opposition comes from the enemy and can come from anyone in our life. Remember that Satan is opposed to God, His word and His children. It is Satan’s plan to turn people away from God. As a Christ-follower we have to be aware that we will face opposition and unjust accusations. Remember that Jesus walked a perfect and blameless life and was still crucified. We must be patient and endure. (1Peter 2:19-21)

If you’re walking through life receiving high fives and gaining the approval of man from your choices, take heed. Chances are you are walking in the flesh and not by faith and obedience. God will enact His perfect justice.

I’m too busy!!

Day 8 of 21

I have been sick for the past week and this weekend I took some time to sleep and rest but not without having to deal with issues. Satan is always trying to find ways to get in there and makes us doubt. I find that there are times when I am stronger against him than others but often times, fail and feel defeated. From day one to day five of this time of seeking, I have felt true contentment. My eyes have remained focused on truth and there has been peace in my heart from trusting God’s hand and not my own. Each day started with prayer and time in the word, which brought me comfort and confidence. Saturday morning, because I was in a hurry, I missed that time with God and was tested.

Here is one of the biggest things I have managed to learn in the past week. Satan is always looking for a moment of weakness. That doesn’t necessarily mean a moment when we’re down in the dumps and feeling weak but instead when we are at our most confident. That is when he strikes and oftentimes, strikes hard. Saturday morning my faith and confidence was shaken. Nothing traumatic actually happened. It was just the normal someone questioning what God was showing me. The problem arrived because I was unprepared. I was too confident. I had spent five days praying and in the word and felt strong. Though He was calling me to spend time with Him Saturday morning, I said “maybe later because I’m in a hurry”. Just the opportunity Satan was looking for and he pounced.

What came later that day was nothing short of pathetic. I spent the day in tears and feeling totally defeated. I began questioning everything God had confirmed to me over the week. I began to question His truth in my life. I began to question His sovereignty over my situation. I doubted again. Why do I allow this to happen? Here is one thing that I know and that is if I had just taken the time Saturday morning to pray and read I would not have been hit as hard. Though it was a crappy kind of day, God still spoke to me, even when I had my head under the covers and tears were streaming down my face. That is what a Father does. When He knows we’re hurting and scared, He is there loving us and wanting the best for us while reminding us of His truth.

Because of this three-week time of reflection, as you can imagine, I have encountered protest from some, mocking from others and those who just flat out don’t get it. As I lay in bed Saturday, God kept putting stories in my head, reminding me of all He had done for those who followed Him. He reminded me of Moses, Joshua, Noah and Abraham specifically. Out of those four, two were significant to me. Two of those stories left me thinking about what those two men experienced from those around them as they were dealing with what God was showing them.

The world will not always understand why we do what we do. Sometimes the choices we have to make in order to be obedient to God go against everything the world would say making us look foolish.

“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.”

Romans 8:5-8

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:1-2

Yesterday in church, I was reminded yet again that my purpose, the reason I was created was soley for the purpose of glorifying God. He created me to bring Him alone honor and glory. My people pleasing nature struggles with that purpose as I seek to make everyone happy but I am learning that I am truly content when I am serving my purpose of glorifying Him alone.

When I woke up this morning, I had an encouraging email filled with some beautiful verses that reminded me of where I need to turn when I am dealing with my weak places….

“26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

Romans 8:26-30

“31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Romans 8:31

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:37-29


Amazing what God’s word can do for the soul. His grace is truly sufficient and when we come to Him, He restores our faith and makes us strong. Please continue to pray. I have two weeks left and all I have asked for is that those who read this blog to pray with me and for me. No decision has been made. It is just a time of allowing God to move and show His plan for me. I beg that you do the same. Pray. Don’t think! Just pray J

Why 21 days?

Day 5 of 21: Why did I choose 21 days? There are three reasons. The first being that God it put on my heart to pray about this situation for 21 days. The second reason would be that research has proven that it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. The third reason comes from a story in Daniel. 


” 2 At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. 3 I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over.

4 On the twenty-fourth day of the first month, as I was standing on the bank of the great river, the Tigris, 5 I looked up and there before me was a man dressed in linen, with a belt of fine gold from Uphaz around his waist. 6 His body was like topaz, his face like lightning, his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.

7 I, Daniel, was the only one who saw the vision; those who were with me did not see it, but such terror overwhelmed them that they fled and hid themselves. 8 So I was left alone, gazing at this great vision; I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. 9 Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground.

10 A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 He said, “Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.

12 Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. 14 Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come.”

15 While he was saying this to me, I bowed with my face toward the ground and was speechless. 16 Then one who looked like a man[

Christ in me


Day 4 of 21  


“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I have spent the majority of today reflecting on what I have learned over just the past three days. For the first time in almost two years, I am not afraid. I received an email last night that would have brought me to tears because of hurt and fear but things are changing. I am no longer weak and it is not because of anything I have done but instead of what Christ is doing through me. There truly is no fear in love when your trust and hope are in Christ and Christ alone.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:18